Legal Question in Family Law in Iowa
Is it legal to have him sign away his rights in Iowa for my husband to adopt?
I have 2 children who are now 10 and 11 years old. I have been divorced from their father for 5 years but seperated before our youngest was 1 year and during all this time he has paid child support off and on and had contact with them off and on. He now (since last year) only contacts them when I have contact with a mutual friend which last year was about 2 or 3 times and this year only once. Everytime he has talked to the kids over the years he has told them lies about coming to visit or writting them or calling every Sunday and then it never happens. He has racked up almost $10,000 in arrears now. He does spend a lot of time drinking with friends. He has just recently been charged with a third domestic assualt (plead down to a disorderly conduct) He does not have a place to live or now even a job which has become a pattern. This started before we were married and continued to the present time. It seems as he is not going to change. Can he sign away his rights for my husband to adopt them? Also what affect on arrears would that have?
2 Answers from Attorneys
Re: Is it legal to have him sign away his rights in Iowa for my husband to adopt?
The only way he can avoid his parental rights is for a court to order it. That means a petition properly filed and served under chapter 600 of the Iowa Code. The standard of proof for abandonment is high.
Unlike my colleague in Montana, I do not propose to render advice or take sides based on unverified statements accusing a person of bad conduct or bad motives.
Re: Is it legal to have him sign away his rights in Iowa for my husband to adopt?
I am not licensed in Iowa, so I cannot advise you regarding Iowa law.
In Montana, your husband would be the Petitioner, and would file a Petition for Adoption and Termination of Parental Rights.
You would support the Petition with Mother's Consent to Adopt.
In Montana, bio father can object and make his argument against the termination and adoption. He can simply consent to the termination and adoption. Or he can ignore it just to be a pill and make you wait out the time before you can seek a default judgment against him.
The child support arrearage (in Montana) is an existing debt he owes the children. The debt will not disappear if bio father consents to termination of his parental rights.
In the meantime, your children are old enough to be proactive with bio father. By now, they're pretty sure his promises are empty. They can say to him (politely)something like, "You've said that before, but you don't do it. Please stop making promises you won't keep. What else would you like to talk about?" That lets him know he's not fooling them, but it allows him to change the subject if the kids still want to talk with him.
That's a powerful skill for kids (and for anybody) to have -- how to not pretend they believe untruths, and how to deflect the conversation to another topic.
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