Legal Question in Family Law in Iowa
My wife and I have been raising our niece since she came home from the hospital. My brother in law's girlfriend has been arrested for assault, drunken disorderly, and recently domestic assault. She also has a son that she had with a guy before my brother in law was involved and that guy is currently in jail serving a long prison sentence. My brother in law has a record from when he was in high school along with multiple DUIs. They have moved at least 8 times in 2 years. They can't get approved for apartments or other rentals due to credit, 3-5 evictions, and my brother in law having a record. Him and his girlfriend are on and off constantly. Thankfully we have our niece 90% of the time and are the only stable things in helper life. I have a great stable job and make plenty of money. My wife stays home with our son who is more of a brother to her than her half brother a that her moms. Our niece is only two and thanks to us she is very advanced so much so she's more advanced than her 5 year old half brother. They take her maybe one or two nights a month. We have kept track and have had her over 600+ days and nights of her short life already. Is there anyway we could gain custody of our niece. They won't sign her over to us we have already tried that so that isn't an option. We have to send her with everything diapers, food, medicine, etc everytime she goes there and 80% of the time have to bring my brother in law's girlfriend's son food as well because they rather go out than buy groceries. Any advice will help I know it's almost impossible but we are raising her she calls our house home literally. Even at two she throws fits and fights us when she has to go to their apartment.
1 Answer from Attorneys
The problem that you have is that your brother in law and his girlfriend have figured out that they don't need to buy the cow when they can milk it through the fence so to speak and they are using you to essentially support the child at no cost to themselves..
The only way that you could gain custody is either through a voluntary adoption under Iowa Code chapter 600 or to have the parental rights of the biological mother and father terminated under Iowa Code chapter 600A.
I would suggest that you retain the services of a discreet family law attorney with a high degree of competence in the field of adoption to handle your dealings, but once you file an action your BIL will most likely retaliate in some manner. It would be essential that your BIL not find out that you are consulting with an attorney.
It may be that a strategic posture can be devised with your attorney to allow your BIL enough rope to hang himself so to speak. If my knowledge of human nature is any guide there's a good chance of that.
Best of luck in your quest.
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