Legal Question in Family Law in Kentucky
At what age in the state of KY can my child choose not to visit with her father? My childs father and I seperated (were never married) when she was under a year old. Visitation was never set, and he signed the papers that say "Petitoner is hereby granted custody of the minor child and the primary residence shall be with the petitoner." This was 7 years ago, sinse then he has been in jail off and on for charges ranging from child support, to drug possession, to domestic violence, to public intoxication, to failure to appears. By his own choice he has only visited with her 3 to 6 times a year (that is when he is not in jail) and only calls the day before the holiday he wants to see her on. After each visit my child would develope insominia for weeks at a time as a result of anxiety from the visit. After years of thearpy we discovered that these on and off visits were harming her more than helping her. I spoke to my ex about her well being and he threatened me, saying he would proove me unfit due to my physical disablities. I told him he would either have to straighten up and be a good dad or leave her alone altogether. Because it was causeing her emotional problems. So for the last year he did straighten up. He visited evey other weekend and called the off weekends. He started paying his child support (he is a felony amount behind) and it appeared to me eveything was going good. Then my daughter stopped sleeping again. I tried to figure out why. Come to find out he was not giving her the perscription meds her psy doc gave her and when I spoke to him about it he refused to give it to her. She was calling me at 2 and 3 am from his house telling me she was scared and the only one awake and begging to go home. Then she would cry when it was time to pack to go to her dads. She wanted to visit not stay the night. Soon she started avoiding him altogether. When he would call she would clam up and refused to talk on the phone with him. I would even hold the phone to her ear and she would yell at me that she didnt want to talk to him. Red flags were going up everywhere. So I finally got her to tell me what was wrong. She told me and her therpist that she would tell her dad she wanted to go home and he would refuse threaten her and she was whitnessing domestic violence between him and his spouse. I called him and told him what she had told me (thinking it was just a childs perception) and he become angry and made threats again saying "we are her boss she is not ours! Either you make her visit or the court does!" I tell him that it doesnt have to come to that. That our daughter is going threw something and needs our support not his anger. He retalliated by calling social services whom did not open a case. Although he and whomever else makes the 3 calls a month has caused me greif, because in this county if you have dept of social services called so many times they WILL open a case. And he has obtained an attorney. I am not sure if he is attempting to gain custody or set visitation or if it is even true, because this attorney is the same one that he has for his over due support. His spouse has informed me via email of the attorney. So I have a few questions.
1. Does my daughter have a say at 8 years old whether she wants to visit with him?
2. How long after I go to court the first time will I have to obtain a lawyer? Or will I need one for the first court apperance?
3. Is it possiable to show the court whom has been calling dept of social services? Because if it is him or his wief and/or family will the judge take that into consideration?
4. What type of custody do I have with the way it is written above?
5. If he was to go for custody because of my disability is that even legal? (I suffered an accident and have had many spinal surgeries and I am due for 3 more. I have RA and failed spinal syndrom. So I have some health issues but nothing that prevents me from being a fit parent)
6. Does any of these things I have said sound like harassment or just a typical custody/visitation case?
7. There are current domestic violence charges on him and Emergency protection orders on him from other women, will that count in court?
Thank you for your time reading this long question and thanks for any imput you may have.
2 Answer from Attorneys
Simply -- you need to get a lawyer, this is far beyond what general legal advice I can give without a full consult.
Children do not have a say in custody or visitation, although the court may consider the wishes of children over 14. If visitation can be proven to be harmful to the child, then the court will take that into consideration. Not giving a child her medication is a very big deal, that would certainly be something to address with the court. Domestic violence orders are relevant and admissible in custody actions, as are criminal histories, although not the sole basis for custody. Your disability alone could not be the basis for a change of custody unless because of the disability you were unable to care for the child. (If that were the case, I imagine the Cabinet would already have sought removal since they investigated you.)
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