Legal Question in Family Law in Kentucky

I am very sorry for your loss, and I can see how important your granddaughter is to you.

You obviously have some resentment towards your son-in-law's new wife, and the rules and discipline they have in their home, and perhaps rightly so. You don't have to like either of them, or their rules; however, you do have to respect them and support them as your granddaughter's parents. Both of them are her parents; tragically, this woman is the only mother your granddaughter has known. So, if they feel you are undermining their authority with their child by not enforcing their rules, even if those rules are unfair, and even if that isn't the case at all and not what you intend to convey, perhaps that is why they are trying to limit your visitation. There is often an ongoing power struggle between parents and grandparents, but your situation is uniquely complicated by the loss of your daughter and having your granddaughter raised by another woman. They might be shutting you out because they see you as a threat to their authority as parents, when they need to see you as the child's loving and supportive grandparents and part of their own extended family. Or they might just want to shut you out because you're a constant reminder of your daughter, and the guilt and sense of loss that are associated with moving on and building a new family after the death of a spouse and a remarriage. Or there might be some other reason they are trying to shut you out. Regardless, you need to find out what the reason is.

I would suggest sitting down and talking with your son-in-law and his new wife about the situation, preferably with the assistance of an experienced family counselor, before taking legal action. At the very least, try mediation. That would certainly be much more affordable than paying court costs and attorneys fees, and likely much more effective. Hopefully a counselor could help them see that time spent with family cannot be optional, particularly in your situation, and help all of you set some boundaries.

If ultimately you cannot resolve your issues with your son-in-law and his wife, talk to your local bar association to find out what pro bono or reduced-fee services are available in your area. You will not be allowed to have any ex parte meetings with the judge; doing so would violate judicial ethics. The only way you will be able to get regularly-scheduled visitation is to file a verified motion with the court and go through a custody/visitation hearing for a determination by the court of what is in the best interests of your granddaughter.

Here is some information from Legal Aid on grandparents' rights you might find helpful:

http://www.kyjustice.org/system/files/grandparents_handbook.pdf

Good luck, and remember, the legal standard is the "best interests of the child." It's in your granddaughter's best interests for all the adults in her life who love her to work together to support her, not put her through a visitation battle. Try to work things out yourselves before heading to court; legal action truly should be the last resort. I sincerely hope your family can heal.