Legal Question in Family Law in Kentucky

Not until recently he didn't. However, the Kentucky Supreme Court has ruled that the biological father does have parental rights, even if it's a child born "within a marriage" that is not the husband's biological child.

As for "taking the baby away," unless you're an unfit parent (or the two of you make a complete spectacle of yourselves in court and the judge decides that only one of you should have the child because you can't possibly co-parent), that isn't going to happen; however, you should expect that if this guy is the father and wants to actually *be* a father to the child, that he will have custodial rights and visitation. Either one of you will have the most timesharing, or you'll have equal timesharing. The standard for custody/timesharing is the "best interests of the child." The judiciary believes this is most often served by children developing relationships with BOTH of their parents. As do I.

Obviously, this is a difficult situation, for everyone involved. However, if everyone involved acts like grownups, putting the needs of the child above their own, particularly their own discomfort, jealously and embarrassment about an extramarital affair from which this child is the product, your child could grow up to have three parents who love and support him or her, and support one another's parenting. Hopefully that will happen instead of growing up with three parents who undermine one another, refuse to co-parent, and put the child in the middle of their disputes. The latter is the reality for too many children.

I would recommend getting a consultation with a local family law attorney before you take any action, or reach any agreements. However, when you choose an attorney, choose one who not only is a strong advocate on your behalf, but who is committed to doing what's best for you and your family (as opposed to immediately saying "let's litigate! we'll get you sole custody! my retainer is $3000"). Almost always, sitting down together and reaching an agreement everyone can live with is far preferable to going before the Judge and having him/her decide for you, and a good attorney will help you with those efforts, not hinder them. Most of the time, even if you "win" in court, you aren't going to be happy with the result. For instance, if he's the father, he will definitely get visitation (absent any reason why he is unfit). But the Judge isn't going to write out a bunch of stipulations about how that visitation works, he/she will say, "We're going with the county guidelines, here's a copy." On the other hand, you can ask that he attend parenting classes, get first aid/child CPR certified, etc. Co-parenting classes for all of you would probably be beneficial as well. You need to figure out who will pay for what, and who will be able to decide what. You can be as creative in your custody agreement as you want. But even if you reach agreement on everything, you will need to establish paternity and put an agreed custody/child support order into place through the courts, which your attorney will handle on your behalf.

If this guy is the child's father, the reality is you will have 18 years to co-parent with him, and for the rest of your lives, he will be a part of your family. I recommend starting that out on a positive note, not on a sour litigious one. Keep in mind that while you're afraid he will take your baby away, he's also afraid you're taking away his. Don't make decisions based on fear; make decisions, together, on what's best for your child.