Legal Question in Family Law in Maryland

#1 Question: Can I, and if so how, give up use and possession of the marital home w/o first having to move out before filing a motion, and then risk being held fully responsible for the full amount of the mortgage on the marital home when I then would have to afford to rent elsewhere? I cannot possibly afford mortgage and rent, and why would someone risk that, however, it is going to force me to foreclose or file bankruptcy at nearly 50 y.o., and this is unconscionably unfair under the circumstances. #2 Related Question: If I do not give up use and possession but stay in the home for the full 3 year use and possession order, do I owe him rent for two sons and myself to stay in the home until it sells which could take 2 years if I do not then move out, and if I move out are we both then held equally responsible for the rent? I get no alimony, since If was told there was no use asking in Charles County. He is uncooperative and refuses to communicate, but by email I had asked if he wanted to buy the home, and he refused. I asked if he would let me refinance when mortgage rates were lower months ago, intending then sell it on my own after my son finished middle school (2 yrs. to go), and he refused. I asked if he would put it on the market with me, and he refused. He emailed me that it was a wiser financial decision for him to allow me to pay the full mortgage the entire use and possession period, and see if the value of the property increased until the use and possession order was up. Facts: After 24 year marriage, wife has sole legal custody of now 12 year old and was awarded use and possession of the family home. There is about 20 months left on the use and possession order. In follow up court proceedings/trial 11 months after original divorce trial, husband found to have misrepresented his financial circumstances. The judge said he had lied. He was found to have dissipated marital funds and been deceptive about this. At the original divorce trial he was only asked to contribute $500.00/month for a limited time since the judge did not know then he was being deceptive and was given the false impression he was the primary support for an 18 year old son. The judge even said, and I have it in a transcript, that she was concerned he would not be able to financially help my older son if she had him pay me more. There was nothing presented prior to her final statements to make her think I do not support my son, in fact I am his main support, and my ex. gives next to no support to my college son, and they rarely speak. My ex. makes a low six figure salary, and there was a college pre-paid trust fund paid entirely from the joint marital checking account and scholarship and loans my son will have to pay back, so none of that made sense, but my ex. was deceptive, and the judge did not yet know that, although she came to realize that. I did not show to the judge that I am the main support for my 18 year old son who really lives with me since I was told my 18 year old, whom I can't get child support for, would have nothing to do with any financial decisions. My 20 year old son has only ever spent one overnight at his fathers, lives with me, attends a community college that is less than what the pre-paid college fund would pay for. My ex makes about $40,000 to $50,000 more than me with great free benefits or inexpensive benefits I do not have (health insurance was free, etc.), and his mortgage is about $900.00/month less than the mortgage on the marital home I am now solely responsible for, while supporting my two sons. I do get child support for my youngest son. My ex. lied and said he was renting a home that he had really bought and fixed up w/ dissipated funds w/in 6 weeks of leaving the home. I was given use and possession of the marital home, even though I expressed concern I would not be able to afford the mortgage, but I think my lawyer was concerned it might swing custody, since my ex was intent on sending a loud and clear message that one or the other of us would have to be granted sole custody, since he would not communicate with me. My income will not allow me to continue to pay the entire mortgage. I haven't been able to save for my 12 year olds college, and there is zero college savings ever for him. I haven't been able to contribute to my IRA since 2007, since the latter half of 2008 was when I started fearing my marriage was about to end. My lawyer said I could give up use and possession, but would have to move out first, and the courts could still make me responsible for the full mortgage payment. My divorce was awarded on grounds of adultery, and my ex is even on probation for violating a protective order. It seems crazy to me that I would have to move out, and file a motion to give up use and possession and risk then being responsible for two house payments, the marital home and then renting, to make sure we protect the abusive, lying (even in court), adulter's finances, when the abusive adulterer has moved on to purchasing and fixing up an affordable home by dissipating marital funds, as already been determined by the judge. Ironically, the judgement awarded to me because of the dissipated funds, demotivates Mr. Samsel to want to sell the home since he will not get much or any equity if it sells at market rate, since in Charles County a judgement attaches to the sale of property and he would have to pay me out of his equity. I think he figures he might as well let it sell at below market rate by making a court Trustee sell it to ensure I loose equity to destroy me financially so I cannot use the equity or get the judgement money to move on and purchase an affordable residence the way he was able to do by dissipating marital funds and then being deceptive in the original divorce trial about this. He might think his only chance of getting cash is to hope the home increases significantly in value because the judgement currently would leave nothing left for him. I think it is crazy that the one at fault for the divorce is not responsibility for helping to pay for the marital home, and has moved on freely with affordable house payments, and I am left with full responsibility to support the college son who I can prove was raised to go to college until end of senior year. (filed for divorce 3/09 when oldest son was a 17 y.o. senior, beneficiary of college pre-paid trust), yet I can prove by court transcript the judge said my college son was the reason she did not want to make my ex pay > $500.00 (<25%) per month and for not more 14 or 15 months, since she hoped he would support my son, whom lives full time with me and goes to the local community college. Please answer the first two questions. I need to know how I can get out of being fully responsible for the mortgage so I do not have to foreclose or file bankruptcy. Another question would be what happens if I rent? Is there any way I can appeal the original ruling, as it was made in March 2010, but the divorce part of the order not signed until October 2010, and the property part of the order separated out and not signed until February 2011? What do I file to give up use and possession, and should I file something else to ask him to contribute to the mortgage at the same time, and is it true I'd really have to move out of the house first?

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