Legal Question in Family Law in Maryland

Re: Child custody during non-legal seperation

You have several options.

You can try to come to agreement. I would suggest you

contact an attorney as there is more here than meets the eye.

You can pursue custody by filing in court. Child support may also be filed.

You can pursue divorce on the grounds of desertion. Her signing of the lease provides part of the evidence needed.

You can pursue a separation agreement. This may or may not be the better option.

She doesn't make the rules, as her behavior implies. Do not permit her

to take advantage of the situation. Her lack of communication and one-sided decision making (that appears to be rash) will work against her legally. Contact an attorney.

Without discussing this with you I cannot analyze for an

optimal option. Contact me at (410) 799-9002 or return e-mail.

Re: Child custody during non-legal seperation

Although many women believe that their gender gives them a greater right to custody of children, and some judges seem to agree, Maryland law is clear that until their is a court order granting custody, or at least a legitimate separation agreement, the rights of a child's two parents are exactly equal. If you file a claim for custody, the matter will go to court and the judge will make decisions about custody and visitation based on evidence of what is in the best interest of the children, and your time as the primary care-giver will carry some weight, along with whatever other evidence you and your wife bring to court through your own testimony and that of other witnesses. Unfortunately, when custody and visitation hearings go beyond simple objective matters such as work schedules, living accommodations and the availability of the parents to spend time helping with homework, things usually degenerate into mudslinging matches in which each parent tries to paint the other as an ogre unfit to be in the same room with the children. Worse, too many parents getting ready for court prepare the children for the chance that they will speak to the judge by constant feeding to the children of information about how terrible the other parent is, and sometimes threats of what will happen if the other parent gets custody. A hearing on custody and visitation, under these circumstances, is a nightmare and the children who are damaged by the process, most often end up not liking their parents very much. If you and your wife can, with each of you represented by a lawyer so you will each understand clearly what your rights and obligations are and so that you don't have to deal directly with each other and end in a shouting match, reach an agreement which can be formalized in a "Separation and Property Settlement Agreement" which resolves all of the issues related to the ending of your marriage, you will be more able afterwards to deal with each on matters related to your children for the many years left of their childhood. If you can't do that, go find a competent family law lawyer as soon as possible and file for custody. Prepare for court in all the way your lawyer advises, and continue during the process to be the best parent you can be. Do not try to snatch the children and keep them from their mother, and be patient if she keeps them from you. It will be evidence that can be used against her in court. But don't quietly acquiesce in her having an upper hand, or it might appear that you are indifferent about how much time you have with your children. Send her polite letters (keep copies) indicating dissatisfaction with the way she is controlling visitation and stating clearly a reasonable alternate proposal. Don't say bad things about your wife to the children and don't exaggerate her faults to your lawyer. If you end up with a judge's decision that you regard as only somewhat unfair, you will have done pretty well.