Legal Question in Criminal Law in Massachusetts

I was put on supervised probation for a crime I didn't commit, they think that I threw a deadly weapon at my sister and that I admit to doing it, but I never admit to it because it didn't happen. My lawyer lied to me and said it would be unsupervised probation. I also have severe social anxiety and thought I understood what was going on in the court room at the time but I was mislead. I couldn't really speak in court because of it and my anxiety caused me to agree with whatever they said. They said my case would be continued without a finding, and I thought that meant they didn't have any evidence besides my sisters word against mine. There was another incident less than a week later where my sister was on drugs and attacked my mother and then me, and I defended myself, hurting her in the process. It was self defense and I won that case because I had video proof of her being the attacker and threatening to kill my mother and me. Both cases were supposed to be dropped immediately until they spoke with my mother who very rarely sees me and knows nothing about me. She told them that she was afraid that I was going to hurt my family and that I may need anger management, which is all untrue because I've been helping my father with everything before and after he became handicapped (he lost his leg to a blood clot). My problem is that I never did anything wrong and I already have severe anxiety and social anxiety so I couldn't defend myself in court. Now my anxiety is so bad that I haven't been able to live a normal life and I'm more afraid than ever about what might happen to me within my probation term. I feel as if I was forced to do what they wanted me to do and not what I think I really should have done, which was explain the situation truthfully and how a lot of what was said about me wasn't true. There was no real communication between my lawyer and I, but I couldn't tell that to anyone in court from the anxiety. Is there any way I can have the case reopened and have it done the right way? Being on supervised probation is making my life so much worse and now everyone thinks I actually did do something wrong, and I lost almost everyones trust and support. I'm having a lot of nightmares from all of this and I feel like I can't live my life the way normal people should anymore. I'm scared of just about everything now and I don't think my heart or mind can take all of this torture.

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