Legal Question in Family Law in Massachusetts
communication with ex
My ex and I have a son together. I rarely communicate with him due to previous verbal abuse I suffered. When he asks about our son, I do respond promptly however.
Recently his license was revoked for failure to pay CS. He has attempted to communicate with me every day about waiving the lien on his license (which I doubt I am able to do, only the DOR I assume has that power). He is very angry. He is not asking about our son, simply about money issues which are the concern of DOR.
As a parent, I do understand how important it is to keep lines of communication open about the welfare of the children.
In the future, if we return to court, will it be used against me that I would not communicate with him re money issues? or because it is not about our son's welfare specifically (he's not asking if our son is sick, well, happy, etc.) will a judge agree that I need not communicate about this topic as I have no power on the issue anyway, only DOR?
I do not want to anger the courts...I would like them on my side as much as possible...
2 Answers from Attorneys
Re: communication with ex
As long as you're holding up your obligation that was outlined either by the courts or by your Separation Agreement, you are OK. You do not need to answer every phone call or letter that he might send.
You might want to look into this website that helps families communicate with each other. I haven't personally tried it but have heard good things about it.
http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/
Re: communication with ex
You should simply and firmly advise your ex that this is not something you can discuss. You correctly understand that his difficulty is with the DOR, which is not going to do anything different.
If, however, he seeks a court order of a return of a license (and, understand, I am not sure that the Court can or will order this), you can certainly agree that you do not object.
These sorts of cases are no-win situations. The current climate of using administrative actions such as denying licenses -does- cause some non-payors to pony up hidden dollars, or to get family to help them pony up money. In other cases, it merely exacerbates the problem.
And here, it is going to add to your difficulty in trying to keep a man you don't much like in your son's life, which is commendable on your part.
In any event, I suggest that you be polite, but firm, and end the conversation over this issue. If need be, write him a letter on the subject. If this does not work, you may have to do things like walking away from the phone while he rants, which may help him realize that he is not getting anywhere, but is better than a mere "hang-up."
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