Legal Question in Family Law in Massachusetts

Re: how do i get the father to give up his rights

The father of the child cannot be "made" to give up his rights, so long as he is not abusive or neglectful to the point of unfitness. What you describe does not qualify,l however distressing it may be.

In any event, your boyfriend cannot adopt the child as a step-parent, as I recall the law. Only a spouse can do that.

Family will not be made or created here through legal paperwork. If your boyfriend is doing a good job with your kids, the family is created by love, and that's what counts.

And, by the way, not wanting to give up a connection to one's child does not make your ex a "jurk." It says tat, however bad he is with his role as a father, he does in fact feel a connection. Call that what you want -- love or a territorial impulse -- it is what gives him some slight possibility of becoming a better father in the long run.

Re: how do i get the father to give up his rights

As has been pointed out already, the standard for removing someone's parental rights is extremely high.

That being said, you may want to consider negotiation with your son's father to see if he will voluntarily relinquish his rights in favor of your boyfriend.

Perhaps you could entice him by arguing that he will no longer have to pay child support. You may need to assure him that he will be allowed to visit in the future.

There are other things that can be done short of establishing full parenthood, including estate planning that directs your boyfriend's estate to you or your son, and whereby you nominate your boyfriend as guardian of your child should anything happen to you, etc.

: how do i get the father to give up his rights

You can file for a modification assuming you have a material change in circumstances, and that the best interests of the child are to cease contact.

Having said this, from what you said, I am not sure you have a strong enough case.

If you need assistance, contact me.