Legal Question in Family Law in Massachusetts
what to do Lee
Others too have said that about being insecure but it has been 8 years now since our divorce and when I honor what he asks he is quiet and does not look happy. About calling him at work if she found out it would cause more problems. When he is with her that is when he is angry and gets nervous and walks fast as in panicking. When she is not there he is calm, polite, smiles and jokes and is himself. That is his life I just wish he would not change towards the children and let her tell him what to do. Like don't take her (our daughter)home let her walk. Butts into private conversations the children have with them and calls them names and yet he says nothing as if he is scared. When the children or I try to explain to him he gets defensive so we say nothing and he wonders why the children are drifting away. He is even canceling more and more of his visitations and when he does have one of the children he brings them home as quick as he can. If the children are 5 or 10 minutes late for him from a BM he paces and calls her on his cell. Is this normal? I don't get it????
1 Answer from Attorneys
Re: what to do Lee
Unfortunately, there may be little that CAN be done. Dad's behavior here requires him to decide whether to put his foot down with the insecure girlfriend or not. As he won't, I simply suggest that you find ways to keep the necessary discussions out of her earshot entirely. No, this is not going to be easy.
things which I often suggest in general:
1. Communicate via e-mail as much as possible. try to use an e-mail address that she won't be able to access, like one at work.
2. Call him at work, as he suggested.
3. Suggest joint counseling or a visitation coordinator -- someone who will meet everybody and get a sense of whose which conduct by whom is problematic.
Failing any of these solutions, there is always court -- bring the matter to the judge's attention. Be prepared for skepticism from the judge, as well as an overburdened staff. unless she is actively abusive, the court is likely to be unable to do more than lecture her, or the ex-husband.
Finally, please note that addressing questions directly to any lawyer here in the open space may not help. Other lawyers may have other suggestions, or see the problem in a different way.