Legal Question in Family Law in Massachusetts

My narcissistic and rather unstable ex-gf (that I'd been with for a bit more than a year) abruptly broke up with me two and a half weeks ago. After the argument, I waited for a week for her to calm down and contacted her to reconcile. She did not want see me and actually called me to say it is really over and that she does not want to see me again. Later I learned that she went to the police (don't know why, as we were not married nor lived together and there was no abuse or threat). I suspected she was going to file a Restrainin Order based on false claims (the reason I can think of for that is probably because she thinks I am such a loser and so desperate for her that I would never leave her alone) so I checked with the somerville county court and the boston superior court to see if there is any record anyone filing a RO against me. Both courts did not find anything for a week.

Lately as I come home late, there is this unmarked cruiser parked in our parking garage guest spot. Yet, I neither got served or called by any sheriff or a server. Nobody knocked on my door either. I am under constant fear whether there is any TRO or PO coming to ruin my record and put my job search on jeopardy. If they have my address, do they not have my phone number? Do they not leave a voicemail or a note on the door? )I don't want to appear that I am hiding, which will make me look guilty). I am thining about visiting my mother overseas, so I might not even be here to receive any order or notes in the next month. It's been 19 days since the break up and 12 days since I last spoke to her. I do not have any intention to pursue her or contact her again. However, my question is this: What happens if I am not here and there is an order issued against me -- that is about to be served? What is the legal procedure, if they can't find me to serve? I am aware that it won't be legal if I do not get served or sign, but what happens after that? Would the judge do ex-parte (assuming I am purposely hiding to avoid the issue) and make this a real Restraining Order without hearing from me or would he reschedule the court date and extend the TRO with the hope that I can get served? Will I put myself in danger by leaving town? I just wanna clear my head and see my mother I haven't seen in 2 years. Please help me.


Asked on 4/13/11, 4:43 am

1 Answer from Attorneys
Christopher Vaughn-Martel Charles River Law Partners, LLC

If someone seeks a temporary restraining order against you, and prevails, you will then receive notice of a "ten day hearing". You should plan to attend the ten-day hearing, at which point you will be permitted to present your side of the story and argue that the restraining order should not be made permanent. Is there a way for you to find out if your ex-girlfriend plans to file a restraining order against you without contacting her directly or putting yourself at risk? If she hasn't filed one yet, and you have not made any attempts to see her or threaten her, she may not intend to. If you are seriously concerned, you should check with the district courts in addition to the superior courts. Regardless, now may not be the best time to leave the country to visit with your mother.

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Answered on 4/13/11, 6:03 am


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