Legal Question in Family Law in Massachusetts
Rights of step parents
My Husband has joint custody of his son, but due to his ex moving an hour away without his consent and getting away with it, the fact his son is on school, we now only have him on the weekends. As far as an ex-wife goes she is beyond meddlesome. She has been very intimidaiting and actually abusive to him in the past. She sends emails, text messages etc. that always verge on the line of harrassment, and always does just enough to interfere with our plans, but always seems to get her needs met. I have worked in the mental health field for 20 years and have never encountered a client as difficult as this woman.
She is required to meet with my husband monthly, due to her continuing insistence of acting as a single parent, now when he is attempting to schedule meetings, she is making comments about his character, temper etc. He has requested that I and a witness of her choice be at these meetings. She has refused and states her son is none of my concern and the courts will agree. It seems as she is trying to set him up stating if he can't trust himself and his temper then and he can hire a mediator. What right do I have he is in my home with my own child, I contribute his support and this is affecting my family?
1 Answer from Attorneys
Re: Rights of step parents
Unfortunately, you have no direct rights in this case.
What is apparent to me is that a mediator or parent coordinator of some type is desirable. He should agree to engage one, but should also file a modification action to require her to pay for the mediator. Further, there may need to be a change in custody, though obtaining that would be expensive. It would require a Guardian ad Litem, a very costly proposition in these cases.
If your husband can't control his temper with this woman, he may need to consider his own counseling needs as well. He knows that he has a big red button that starts him yeling or whatever on his chest, and so does she; -he- needs to find a way to deactivate that big red button. Like it or not, she gains by his outbursts when she pushes the button.
Another idea: with her agreement, husband can VIDEO the meetings. That would put them both on their best behavior.
Finally, this needs to be clear: despite the best intentions, your husband is engaged in a territory war over the child, as is the ex-wife. This war is not healthy for them, and likely is difficult for the child as well. Sometimes a war must be re-evaluated: are the combatants losing more territory than they are gaining? Is there another way to "win" the war?
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