Legal Question in Family Law in Massachusetts

Separated i 2007; divorced in 2009. Agreed to a significant reduction in child support payments in an effort to maintain a positive (or attempt to,) relationship for the sake of our children. Subsequent to our divorce we each remarried (he in 2010, myself in 2011.) When my new spouse and I decided to adopt a baby, and I was required to travel to the home country of the child to initiate the adoption (10 days,) I returned to an angry ex, who, felt I was using the measly $120 per week to pay for the adoption (this combined with he feels that I am capable of working, which I am, however, I have been on unemployment because I could not find a new job, and, i then decided to take the advice of the States suggestion and start my own small business - a recommendation made to those who could not find new employment post lay off.) And, I have been working hard to put everything together. Issue, out of no where I found myself with a TRO stating I was emotionally and physically abusive to both our children and my ex since 2006 (this was 2012) and claiming I attempted to STAB him? Two weeks later, the TRO was thrown out - during that two weeks waiting, he filed a motion to change custody from "to be determined weekly based on the schedule of either parent for that week- nothing concrete, like 50/50, however residential custody was given to me, additionally sought to modify our divorce stating he had them in his care more than 50% of the time (perhaps for the ONE month that my new spouse and I moved 1.8 miles away, but only because he offered to take them extra due to the move/painting etc...) But he claimed that in a six month period, he had them for more than 50% of the time, therefore he wants full custody, child support, etc... However he is using my trip abroad to adopt, the tro he filed that was dismissed within less than 5 minutes of the judge speaking to us, and the one month that we moved (which I actually required dental surgery, which the dentist did not treat for infection, landing me in the ICU - literally - in a coma, ibtubated for about 10 days.) However, 1. I had respiratory failure! I was not on vacation! 2. HE placed a TRO on me (yet continued to speak to me for days and filed only when he knew I would not be home to be served - dismissed,3. I was abroad adopting! he knew 6 months in advance, and, sure it was 10 days, but, in our agreement we both give one another a total of 3 weeks of vacation time with our new spouses/no kids per yet (never have used this in 6 years tho, he has every year.)I am in NH, he is in MA.

Then I find out he has gone to nearly every length to destroy my reputation with their school, dance course, etc.... And, the most bizarre, accused me of being agoraphobic (ps, when I returned abroad to pic our baby, she was in the NICU for two months, in India, and I was alone the entire time-im not agoraphobic!)

I did return alone, after she passed away, a very changed person. I attempted to speak to him, reason with him, explain that the kids are just fine, everyone supports this, and until this issue, we never fought (tho he claims we did,) and, the mental and physical abuse issue? He is a mandated reporter, I would think he would have to report me, no?Or, he violated ethics in his profession sof 1900 days!

Thinking this could not become worse, the GAL, who either is plain lying, or perhaps severely hard of hearing wrote a 56 page report (47 in his area, interviews with people I have not even thought of since '07, literally, over 12 ppl spending 20 hrs with his family/friends. On my end, No lie: 4-5 minutes with my father, 8-10 my mother and 20 with my sister; approx 10 with ONE friend, and 15 or so with new spouse (who, she managed to take even their words and make them sound like I am a complete Attila! When we read the report, it was so slanted, and she gave so many personal opinions (stating signs of psych dx of this, that....) however she is not even a psych, she is a unmarried lawyer with no children, no child training.

So, after 7 years, same weekly schedule same routine, kids stating NO to changes (unless more time with me) she recommended I have TWO overnights per months- that's it? (dropping from at minimum 15, more like 20!) Absolutely nothing supported by anything I found written on psychiatry/parenting plans? They have straight A's, behave, honestly, perfect children... Supported by their schools etc (he works FT-OT average 48 per week, a second job on call every weekend for 56 hrs, and he has opened a HUGE salon....) I, work from home, am always here with our kids (my daughter once thanked me for asking her how her day was? I guess even when he is home, he ignores them.) Additionally, he wants me to pay for half legal bills, GAL (who spent less than two hours on a list of 20 ppl...) child support, repay for lessons he paid over 6000$ for without even consulting me (specifically states in our divorce, NO major expenses without speaking to one another if we, either side, want to have the item split...) And, This man---- and I made a verbal agreement in 2010, when I returned to school, that I could use money from 529 ($4,000) for our sons college (he was 7) since I allowed him to sign over approx 36K in his own debt (and Id pull it down with my bankruptcy, and did.) Lastly, bare in mind this is now 2013, he claimed I abuse drugs... (which In a sense, I did, following surgery, I did become inadvertently addicted to percocet- for under 4-5 months- got help, stopped and nothing ever since. Totally not purposeful (I had 36lbs of skin removed.) Suboxone (the drug used to get ppl off percocet) is LEGAL, I broke no laws?! And, I only used that for a short time. Now, he claims I am a drug addct still because of anti anxiety medication!? Which I prob would not need if it were not for this constant barage.

So, divorced in NH, with NO actual set days or times for visitation, very fluid, he lied to the court and stated they are always with him (where in fact, the kids would like the reverse, him 1-2 x per months, ME full time.) 400$ in child support (My business is opening January 1, I have had NO income for two years,) I had to borrow to bury my baby. This Gal, thinks I am nuts (because I followed Super Baby diet - I made their food when they where little) and im too strict because I have a routine at my home... And, because I refuse to pay 1/2 of the dance expenses which are (if you add costumes) close to 9000$ I never would have agreed, and she doesn't even like dance!

I am always home, always have been. He has always worked XXX hrs, and we broke up over !me wanting to have another baby! He does not even like kids!

1. 2009, percocet, few months following surg, then suboxone, nothing since.

2. Xanax as needed (like when he text messages me!)

3. I'm home, he is God knows where.

4. He controls our every move, refuses to share info (kids sick, he even signed them up for band lessons, refuses to allow them to bring the instruments to my home, but wants me to pay for this (and I would have, but, he wont tell me even the cost, I guess he was irritated when I suggested BUYING a flute vs renting one, bc it was LESS.

What should I do (MA does not even have jurisdiction, but is asserting this based on his claims!?) Also, shouldn't money issues be separate from custody, since I was the one receiving support (he made 360K last year, paid 6500 in support, I never asked for a penny.) In after 7 years he wants a change? The kids are going nuts, the like the way things are...

Why is having another child his business? What I do for work, and, how much I make/earn? I am remarried, I dont make millions, but, enough that we are comfortable, and, I am home with the kids. (he is giong to really poop when he learns we have a baby due in April, and she is going to have another for us right after. I told him to shove child support, just leave us alone, I don't want a thing.

But, I am terrified.

PS if he is asking for a modification, cant I also ask the court to modify the child support order to its original amount $797 week, instead of $120? Advice on how to show the court the kids are fine, doing great just how they are would be helpful... And that GAL report, is so fabricated, honest to God, she calls me a tyrant? (PS, what tyrant do you know that is nicknamed Gentle Ben, or Daddy) im not Hitler simply because I have rules (no shoes, finish your plate before seconds, homework first thing, put your cloths in hamper? I almost want to call and report myself to CPS so they do a investigation on me, so I can get something unbiased!

-I do admit, I owe him $369 for their glasses, but, I JUST was told of this, from 2011! But dance, without speaking to me? Forcing them to remain in private school even tho They don't want to go? How can a court force me to pay for something I don't have, that is what public schools are for?

Divorce and Residence for myself, and two children in NH, but taking place in MA.

If he owes me money (50% of adoption tax deduction x 2 =$10,000 but has refused to pay (this is since '06!, can I still act on this.... he just does what he pleases, last year, he claimed BOTH children, even tho it explicitly states he cannot do so.)

We expect a large return this year because of our baby's bills, and two large out of pocket expenses, no reimbursed.... Is there a way I can file my taxes, claim my children (like our divorce states) quickly enough that they receive my return/and process it faster than his, bc he just ignores a court order and does what he wants.) And This is NOT his place to claim them, we use to each claim one, but, he just went and claimed both last year, so fair, is fair, cant I claim them both this year? He forged a letter to the IRS stating I consented to him claiming them both last year.

Oh, and by shear coincidence, he filed chap 7 in 2012 - denied - granted a 13. (meanwhile drives a BMW, bought a home for 400K, still on our mortgage for 240K, spouse is highK in Federal debt, opened a business(but made NO money? its a salon, they made money, they where so successful, he is changing locations.

And, now I think he is pressing our children so hard, they are showing signs of Hostile/Aggressive Parenting Syndrome (from him toward me.)I feel like I need to push my lawyer to do a bit more work before a trial..... I have dirt on him, he lied to the BCIS about his address and sexuality so he could adopt... ? Or has the statute run out on this? Can I threaten to tell board of nursing? tell BCIS?

He has NOT followed any portion of our divorce in NH, 1. kids come to me (or him) if either of us will be gone for 8 hrs or more 2. Must consult the other before major purchases 3. Must reassess health insurance yearly, he refuses, he loves control 4. He decided to stop paying support, so, he did.... 5. We agreed to always mediate prior to court, he went straight to court, out of state, lied, 6. He filed a false restraining order on me (proof) 7. He is lying about almost all he states 8. He never paid me money he owes me, and he is actually asking me for money he gave me back via the court! The custody issue is the 30th, but the $$$ issue, he filed charges of contempt, (I think they made an error, bc it says 12/24/2014, I asked a lawyer friend, he thinks it was a typo, BUT, its in the computer and calendered for that day, a year from now. Can I file contempt charges for him not following multiple areas of our agreement in our divorce too? In NH? Also, he has ruined my reputation... I can think of atleast 8 areas he has violated our divorce terms (including taking me to court in MA, when it clearly states NH (and the NH court is only 1 mile from me, 3 from him.... the MA court is 44 miles for me, 41 him.)

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