Legal Question in Family Law in Massachusetts

Summary:

I would like to change my sons last name. He has my ex boyfriends last name.

My son is 7 years old. I am married to a man who has been with me since my son was 11 months old. My sons biological father has seen my son sporadically. He does not offer him any emotional or financial support. He now owes $15,000 in back child support. He does not work, he has a girlfriend and they have 2 children. (She has 6 children, but through family services, they took away her other 4 children and they cannot legally live in Massachusetts so they live in Rhode Island. If they do live in Massachusetts, they will have their 2 current children taken away.)

Needless to say, my husband is a father to my son. He support him financially, emotionally & thinks of him as his own.

We haven't pursued child support from him because we like the keep the peace. We are a quiet family that doesn't involve ourselves in drama, and my ex is the type to stir up drama if he is angry. (Years ago he broke into my husband and my house while we were sleeping and started breaking things, since then we keep things low key.)

My son unfortunately has my ex's last name. Now, I was awarded FULL legal and physical custody of my son in court when we went about 3 years ago. (I took him to court because the few times he took our son for visits years ago, he came back wearing dirty diapers and had bruises, and one time my ex even stated he gave my son SLIM FAST because he ran out of milk.)

I am now looking into changing his last name, and have found that even through all of this mess, he will have to be present in court to agree to a name change for my son. Im not sure how that would work though, because he doesn't have a legal Massachusetts drivers license since D.O.R. put a hold on it from the back child support, and Im pretty sure there is a current warrant out for arrest on my ex.

I was thinking of arranging a meeting between all of us and seeing if there is a way I could tell him I will "opt" out of child support so the case will be closed through the child support division, IF HE AGREES to sign the papers to have my sons last name changed. I have done basic calculations based on what he owes NOW, and since he has stated numerous times: "I WILL NEVER pay child support." He will owe around $50,0000 at the time of my sons 18th birthday.

He also plans on moving to Florida in the next few weeks, so I am hoping to have this situated before then, in case we have to go to court.

Is this a legal thing to do? Any sound advice would be appreciated.


Asked on 10/18/10, 12:06 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

First, do you want to change your sons name or do you want your husband to adopt your son?

In order for your husband your ex-boyfriend would have to give up any parental rights, which given your description of the relationship, is not much now. You could as an incentive waive any back child support owed you.

Once your ex gives up all his parental rights, your husband could adopt your son.

If all you want is to change the name, your ex would have to consent and you could agree to modify his support obligation to some extent for his agreement.

You need to have an attorney assist you with this problem so you get what you need and do not violate any court rules. The advantage of terminating your ex-boyfriends rights is that should anything happen to you, your son would be placed with who you designate without having to have a court fight for custody with your ex.

Please feel free to contact me without obligation.

Read more
Answered on 10/23/10, 3:12 pm


Related Questions & Answers

More Family Law, Divorce, Child Custody and Adoption questions and answers in Massachusetts