Legal Question in Family Law in Massachusetts
My wife has been getting worse and worse with hoarding issues, mainly with food and does not believe in expiration dates and will simply cut mold away from an item and serve the rest. She saves the crumbs from plates to use later. She insists on alloting my each and evey meal as only she knows what needs to be eaten next. If I open the refridgerator door she comes running to make sure I take the right thing. She will use leftover candy as sweetener in baking or mix leftovers together that may be quite old and is very upset if I and the kids don't like it. She claims that she is "not the type of cook who needs recipes". I worry more and more that we will be make sick by something she serves. She also insists on washing ziplock bags to be reused, using her bicycle in all kinds of weather to save gas and saving all leftovers - even small scraps on plates. On vacation at Disneyland she saved part of a staek that was left on one of our daughter's plates and carried it in her backpack for 10 1/2 hours before we got to a refridgerator and tried to get me to eat it 3 days later.... I have brought up a few times that she is not normal and something is wrong and she should see a dr but got a very violent rebuttal from her (verbally , not physically) Oh and she is very verbally abusive to me and to a lesser extent the girls, and as such I have been going to a counsellor for how I can deal with this abuse which has left me quite depressed especially as I have been looking for work for almost 2 years now. I am currently on antidepressants and see that I have to break this cycle and get out of this marriage for my own sake and the sake of my children. I am truly afraid of her - again not physically but my every move is watched and controlled, i have no money though I have made almost all our income for 20 years and were I to even stop and get one of my kids an ice cream on my own it would cause a major blowout because I didn't discuss it with her first
So my question is - can I use these sorts of "issues" when I file for divorce? She has obviously not been diagnosed with anything and of course I am no psychologist, but how can I use this to affect how the court considers custody of my daughters? I truly worry about them being raised by her. Can I document or record what is going on somehow? I am sure the court is used to all sorts of fraudulent claims of abuse.. so how can I show that it is real?
And I apologize for the rambling.. I needed to give you some sort of a quick look at the situation so you might understand my question. And thank you for taking the time to answer this, as I do truly need this help and advice
1 Answer from Attorneys
Based upon what you have said, it appears that your children could be in serious danger, both physically and emotionally, if they live alone with your wife without you there to protect them, unless and until she gets medical and psychological help. The "issues" that you mention will absolutely be considered by the court in determining custody as part of your divorce. You should document everything that occurs -just as you have done above. You did not indicate how old your children are but if they are over 13, the court may consider their opinion with regard to custody. The court can also appoint a "guardian ad litem," to investigate the case and make a recommendation to the court regarding the custody arrangement that is in the best interests of the children. If you can possibly afford an attorney, I strongly recommend that you hire one. You can try contacting legal services agencies in the area where you live. There are also attorneys who will defer payment on a divorce case until the division of assets, so this may also be a possibility. If you would like a free consultation, please contact me at 508-528-4007. Good luck.
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