Legal Question in Family Law in Michigan

Re: Lack of support

Yes, you can file for separate maintenance. See a family law attorney or Legal Aid office.

Re: Lack of support

[lawabby]

You are living in an abusive situation and it is up to YOU to decide how long you are going to put up with it. Since you're writing, you KNOW you have some power here, the question is,--are you going to use it or not?

You shouldn't have to "support" yourself in a marriage. You can do bad by yourself.

[/lawabby]

That being said, start saving every penny you can. If you know of where he keeps his accounts, be very very careful, but start gathering information on where the money is and keep it away from the house. Your lawyer will need it. You can call the counsel and advocacy law line for free, they service most of Michigan and can help with resources as well. They hear stories like yours every day, so don't worry.

Do NOT use email to correspond through the family computer. Start planning where you are going to go in the case things erupt. In other words, My Dear, you need to PLAN your future.

If you decide to stay, then you have to make the conscious decision that that is the life you will have.

Now, there are two ways to get out from under:

1) Get the both of you (ideally) into a gentle therapy or mediation so that you can survive under his system.

One method would be to get him to see that it's in HIS best interests to give you the tools you need to serve him (cuz, that's apparently what you're doing now). Women survived in that system for a LONG time, you just have to figure out what they knew and decide whether it is a system you can live with.

OR 2) Get the heck away from him, because he's on a well-documented path towards owning you, which means he can also dispose of you (at least in his own mind).

3) Walking away is the final option, but doing that also requires planning, because you don't want to be on the street.

Getting out means planning and conserving the resources you are getting. In a divorce, the court will award you a fair share of the marital assets, provided the court knows what is there. A court order can issue the day you file to prevent legal disposal of assets, and an order can also issue taking whatever he owes you in alimony from his paycheck. The court could award you the house, it can do all sorts of things, but you have to know before you leave what is there to divide. Getting it after you leave will be extremely difficult.

You may be unemployed, but unless you're under a disability, you're employable.

In a divorce/separation, the resources may not come fast enough to help you, so start looking at your skills and resources: friends (if you still have any) and family, not to save you, but just to help you in well-defined ways.

Remember, you can do bad by yourself.