Legal Question in Family Law in Michigan

Weren't any temporary orders entered that would be in effect until the judgment is entered? There wouldn't be any orders for child support or custody since you're residing together, but there should be orders that "preserve the status quo", such as preventing both of you from disposing of or transferring assets, requiring you to maintain health insurance for the benefit of the family (if you were before the complaint was filed), restraining both of you from incurring unreasonable debt, and requiring you to pay the household bills as was the standard prior to filing divorce, etc. If it was "standard" that you would give her X amount of money for "discretionary" matters, then a court may order you to do that. However, if she has a substance abuse problem, or otherwise wastes any money you give her, then you are justified in your denial, especially if you are paying all the bills and maintaining the household. Furthermore, if she isn't disabled and could otherwise work, then she can get a job to cover her extra spending since the situation is changing - you guys are going to be in separate residences eventually and she needs to support herself, such as by getting at least a part-time job. Unless your children are too young to be in school, almost done with school, or at an age where they can stay home alone for a few hours, then your wife working likely wouldn't result in paying for daycare for the days/times she was working (or her wages would offset the cost of day care, i.e., be an economically wise decision).

If she claims she needs money for a specific item or purpose, such as personal products, clothing, gifts, gas money, or getting a hair cut, then either go with her to the store when she buys these and/or pay the vendor directly. You could try it once without doing this and tell her that you will need a receipt, and then if she doesn't give it you or otherwise can't account for where the money went, then you're further justified in not giving her money. You could also set a weekly allowance amount for her, which I'm sure will never be enough in her mind, but base it on the amount of "extra" money you have left over each month, her needs, and what's otherwise reasonable (i.e., $20 a week is unreasonable if she's driving the children to school everyday and using $20 or more in gas money alone, yet $500 a week is likely too high, unless you're rich, she's using it on the children as well, that was always the standard arrangement or the amount of her average spending, or that includes grocery shopping).

Remember that even if you feel she doesn't need to be on a bunch of prescription meds, she is apparently getting them legally and her doctor would obviously support that, so be careful what you say in court or in documents about this issue to avoid looking like you're making false allegations or being bitter. If you truly think this doctor is a quack or hack, then perhaps look him up on the state's licensing board to see if he has ever been disciplined for frivolous prescriptions, google him, etc - you may not find anything, and it may just be a difference of opinion between you and the wife & her doctor. However, it seems that every week there is a news story of some doctor getting busted for giving out pain med prescriptions to too many people and/or basically just charging people in exchange for them getting a prescription (i.e., not even examining the person). You have lived with her and know her medical condition, behavior, problems, and history, so you are in a good position to offer an opinion, albeit a non-medical one. I can't opine on whether or not I think her meds are proper or not, if she is being over-medicated, as I'm not a doctor.

Always document everything, whether it's the money you give her and what she spends it on, whether she slept all day and didn't take kids to school, was late picking up the kids (such as if/when you are separated), or factors that may be relevant to the custody determination, etc. You never know when you may need to use your "diary" or records, and it's better to have them than not.

I also recommend not just outright refusing to give her any spending money, as that will make you look like a jerk if she takes it to court - follow the steps and advice above and see how it goes. Document it. Then if she takes you to court, you can explain your actions without looking like you're being unreasonable or retaliating against her.

I assume you don't have a lawyer for your divorce, or you wouldn't be posting this question. If you do have one, then make sure you ask your lawyer, as he/she knows all the details of your case and the answer may be different than mine.

I hope this was helpful and gave you some ideas and things to take into consideration as you move forward.

Remember, always act in your children's best interests, even if your wife does not. Don't disparage her in front of the children, argue, name call, have other women around - it will all come back to haunt you and damage your children.

Good luck.

PS: Some courts will waive the 6-month waiting period upon a showing of good cause. They won't shorten it too much, but that's something to keep in mind. Again, you'd need good cause or the judge will deny it. Examples of good cause are the wife is pregnant by another person and wants to get married to the baby's daddy before the kid is born; all issues between the parties have been resolved and you are ready to enter a judgment; one party is accepting a job and moving out-of-state and has an upcoming deadline, and prefers not to have to return to the state to finalize or wait on the divorce. It helps if you two are in agreement on waiving the 6 months - if she won't agree, then it's a waste of time to ask, unless you have a very good basis for asking.