Legal Question in Family Law in Missouri

I live in Jackson County Missouri and am going through a divorce and child custody battle. I have three months until the court date and have recently fired my lawyer. I found out she was friends with my ex-wife's lawyer and was not only sharing all the information from the case we were building, but also intentionally sabotaged me by never showing up to the mediation and didnt call me back for two weeks.

By reading online I have determined that the actions my ex has been taking, she is dictating everything between my child and I. I have come to understand that I have equal legal rights over my child as she does, but I have been listening to her demands in fear of her either not letting me see my kid until the court ruling or that if I didn't, it would look bad on me in court. But seeing my own flesh and blood 6 days a month is just not cutting it for me.

I want legal custody and joint physical custody in the end. And I know that I can prove myself better as a parent than her. Not that she is an unworthy mother, but I need to show the judge that I can make better decisions for my child.

My question is, now that she has put these restrictions on me, and making large decisions without my knowledge or consent (enrolled my 2 year old in daycare and wouldn't let me know the name of the school), would it me in my best interest to retort in the same ways but more "aggressively", so to speak?

When she gives him to me next, I want to keep him for 6 weeks and then give him back to her for 6 weeks. Now when she notices I'm taking over as the person dictating what he will be allowed to do, she will not give him back to me until the court date. She wants legal custody just as I do. What I want to show to the court is that not only will I not accept not being his parent (I don't want to be the guy he just visits two weekends a month), but that I am capable of making better decisions for him. That I want him to be a part of his mothers life as well, and that she hasn't let me see him for the month and a half before the court date.

I want to pay for better health insurance for him. I want to enroll him in a better daycare than she has enrolled him in. I want to change his diapers. I want to feed him everyday. I want to show that I can be a dad and a father.

Will keeping him for six weeks and then letting her keep him for six weeks look bad on me in court? I don't want to take him from her for that long, but if I don't do exactly what she says, she will keep him from me until the court date.

For example, even though she dictated what weekend I get to see him (not even a full weekend, I have to take him back at night and pick him up in the morning) last weekend she kept him from me because I did not give her a 48 hour notice that I'd be picking him up on the weekend she said she would let me see him.

There has been no ruling yet. I am his father and I'm done being walked all over and I'm done letting her use my child as a weapon against me.

Please help me.


Asked on 10/25/13, 12:15 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Mel Franke Mel G. Franke, Attorney at Law

Your case is very complex. Is there an existing PDL (in the interim) order? If so it controls what the parties may do. You need to hire the best family lawyer you can afford. You need to treat this a legalized warfare and carefully plan the steps you are going to take. You do not want to take a step that the court would view unfavorably and then use it as a basis for ruling against you.

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Answered on 10/25/13, 1:43 pm


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