Legal Question in Juvenile Dependency in Missouri

Based upon the limited facts you were able to provide, you appear to have several options, with varying consequences. Among other things, you may seek to have the Probate Court appoint you and/or your husband as Guardian and Conservator for the child. You may have suitable grounds to adopt the child. As Guardians, you can get assistance with getting Child support from your Son and his Ex. If your new daughter-in-law finds that part of his income will go to the preexisting child, she may warm up to him.

If you adopt, the Law treats the child as if he was always your Son and never your Grandson. He would be an equal heir with your present Son, (his biological father), and all your other children. This might cause some strain with them. If you do not adopt him, he remains your Son's heir. If your Son should (God forbid) pass away, his estate would basically be split one half to his surviving spouse and one half to the Boy living with you. If your Son is somehow disabled, the boy living with you may be eligible for Social Security benefits. If you or your husband become disabled, he might not. But, if you adopt he probably would be eligible, just like any other minor child.

Based upon the words you chose, I gather that you do not have the best relationship with your daughter-in-law or your Son's Ex girlfriend. You did not indicate the quality of your relationship with your Son, or what you want it to be. If you seek to be Guardian and Conservator, it may put a strain on your Son's marriage, as the Court will probably want the issue of Child Support addressed, whether or not you do. An Adoption action, is by nature an adverse action with your Son, as you may have to have his parental rights terminated. That could negatively affect his ability to adopt his Stepson, especially if that child's biological father opposes the adoption.

Which way you choose to go will have repercussions in your family. You did not indicate WHY you want to change the present arrangement. Are you concerned that either of the parents may come to claim the child. A ban that Child Services places, can be removed by a Court. If the mother gets treatment, she may, over time, be able to get Custody through the Courts. By virtue of having a child to be adopted, your daughter-in-law has already had at at least one relationship that didn't last. If she has given him ultimatums like the one you described, she may do more that causes him to end the marriage. Once away from her, your Son may want his Son back.

You are wonderful people to take this little guy in. You were wise to seek general information based upon the limited information you could provide here. The smart thing now may be to get advice directly from a family law attorney based upon all the other facts you could not provide her. Many family law attorneys provide a free or low cost initial consultation. Gather the relevant documents and contact one, so that you can get advice as to all of the relevant facts of your particular situation. Consider the consequences, and make the best choice for you and your Grandson.

Good luck