Legal Question in Family Law in Montana

I suppose you could classify any variation as a technical violation but (1) neither parent objects and (2) the Court is pleased when parents cooperatively parent their children; it's not going to fault parents who can discuss and agree upon changes.

It appears that you do not object to such a radical change in the formal Plan, and I assume your son agrees with the amendment. In a perfect world, your casual "handshake" agreement would be fine. Seems so simple, doesn't it?

However, without a written and filed amendment to the Plan, Father has your "goodwill" consent but not the protection of a written amendment. You know how oral history changes a little every time someone tells it? The same thing happens to our memories when we make oral agreements. We don't recall the details as precisely as we did last year, the other parent recalls the details differently, one parent makes an assumption and doesn't realize that it needs to be discussed, we encounter a situation we hadn't anticipated or discussed . . . small errors and omissions that don't seem important now set a precedent that might cause a problem later.

I commend parents who can set aside their disappointment and hurt of dissolution and focus on their children's well-being. I recommend that parents sit down with notes and lists of questions and 'what if" situations. Discuss them in detail. What will we do dad is sick and mom can't leave work? What if mom needs to swap a weekend, how will we routinely handle that? Write it down! At the least, a written modification won't morph over time like memory can. At the most, you can file the modification so that both parents are protected if a serious problem arises that needs court intervention.

Here's a big question: What will you do about child support? Typically, one parent is paying support based on income and time the child spends with that parent. Again, without a written agreement filed with the Court, and a subsequent recalculation, the "automatic withholding" order remains in force, and payor's employer continues to withhold child support from the payor's income. Will you recalculate support? If yes, you need to file your parenting amendment with the Court and send a copy of the resulting order accepting the amendment to Child Support Enforcement.

That is more rain on your parade than you dreamed possible, but the old adages still ring true: a stitch in time saves nine, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I commend you both for being able to talk about parenting your child without anger and accusation