Legal Question in Family Law in Montana

Can you please interpret this statement from the parenting plan - "Each parent shall supply the appropriate child(ren)�s clothing with them for their scheduled time with the other parent. These clothes are to be considered the child(ren)�s clothes and shall be returned with the child(ren)."

The ex is claiming that any and all clothes I purchase for the kids is to go to her house with the children and are not allowed to stay at my house. She is threaten to take me to court over this.


Asked on 6/29/11, 3:33 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Carolyn J. Stevens CJ Stevens|Law

This is part of some pretty standard language in parenting plans. I'm glad you spoke up so that I can edit my parenting plans to be more clear. Okay, here we go:

The Residential Parent is the parent the children are living with right this minute. Residential Parent "hands off" to the Receiving Parent. Receiving Parent now has the children and becomes Residential Parent.

In an ideal world, both parents have money to burn, so they can buy two of everything for the kids and their rooms. But usually the parents have to share the cost of pricier items like winter jackets and boots, soccer shoes, band uniforms and instruments, etc. Wherever those items 'live', they belong to the child.

So, because the parents communicate, cooperate, and behave themselves for the children's peace and happiness (this is a theoretical example, but good parents try hard to make it happen), Residential Parent knows what the kids will be doing with Receiving parent, not in great detail but they've chatted about it. For example, Residential Parent knows Susan has a soccer game, Robert has tennis day camp, and they might go snowboarding on the last bit of snow they can find. None of that gear is so cheap that each parent can buy a set for each household. So Residential/Sending Parent helps Susan by reminding her to pack her shoes, helps Robert by reminding him to pack his racket and wrist brace, and bring their snowboarding gear up from the basement.

That's "clothing appropriate for their time with the other parent" -- their sporting gear and helmets for snowboarding. All that gear is in Residential/Sending Parent's house because the kids have enough storage space in the basement for all their gear. But it does not belong to that parent unless the parents made a specific agreement (and wrote it down because we remember things differently over time).

Judges are busy enough that they don't want to get involved in who bought the Sunday school dress for Susan and who bought the tennis gear for Richard. When people can't agree, a better approach is to hire a mediator who will listen to the parents and help them come to a solution. A bonus is that the parents will (we hope) get some practice in working together, which makes them less angry at each other, which reduces tension between them.

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Answered on 6/29/11, 6:44 pm


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