Legal Question in Family Law in New Hampshire

Custody of Non-related Child

A 14 year old child who calls me ''Nana'' is having a hard time at home. Her mother and 2 older brothers smoke pot and one of the boys does other drugs as well. She shares a room with a 6 year old boy. Her 13 year old brother is constantly being beat up by the older boys. They have moved 4 times this school year and has failing grades. Her mother works or is out with others. She has to be ''Mother of the house.'' She needs to have a chance to be a teenager. She has asked to live with myself and my husband. Is there a chance I could get custody of her?


Asked on 3/14/05, 11:25 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Barbara C. Johnson Law Office of Barbara C. Johnson

Re: Custody of Non-related Child

When I was young (between the Great Depression and World War II), families would agree amongst themselves that if one family had "too many" kids to take care of itself, one or more of the kids would go to live with the other family. It worked because they were helping each other and were friends or kindly neighbors.

Nowadays people go to court or the agency that claims its purpose is to protect the children. The State through the agency then takes the kids away traumatically and either puts them in a group home or a foster home. Not all foster homes are checked out first. The kids might end up in a basket of good apples or a basket of bad apples. The kids are frightened and unhappy and miss their family and friends, neighbors, and relatives. They often act out, are put on drugs, and things just go down hill from there.

As a lawyer, I cannot tell you not to go the agency or the court. As just an ordinary person who is now a senior citizen, I can say, in my opinion, see if you can work it out with the child's mother.

The problem you have -- if you have read the family properly -- is that the biological mother is using this child as an unpaid babysitter for the 6-year-old child.

Be as tactful as possible. The mother herself might have had a bumpy childhood and might be very sensitive about hearing that she is not the mother she always dreamed she would be.

Best of luck. May it all work out without court intervention.

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Answered on 3/14/05, 11:50 pm


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