Legal Question in Family Law in New Hampshire

visitation with one exclude the other

You're right, this is a new on me too. If the Court order allows him visitation, I don't think you can simply refuse to let him visit at all. But I have to caution you. I don't practice in your state and I don't have the divorce decree to read.

I would consult with a lawyer before you go ahead and change the arrangements. Beyond that, my sense is that the this is not going to be resolved by court action. You obviously have a delicate situation that probably will not be solved by forcing him to visit with the 10 year old. I don't know why the father is doing this. But the intervention you should be looking for is in the counseling area. I am not trying to be indifferent. But it has been my experience that courts do not greatly affect visitation problems because the legal system is just not set up to act as a referee for interpersonal conflicts.

Counseling is a very good idea...if he'll go

There is no sense forcing him to have a relationship with the 10 yr old, since he clearly does not want to. HOWEVER, I would suggest a trip to the Friend of the Court and ask them to require an interview to find out exactly why he won't have the younger child. You may want to go into counseling yourself, you may learn something. Is it possible that the younger child is viewed as "your" child for some reason? Not every parent loves every child the same, but he is undoubtedly causing the child severe emotional harm by rejecting him and favoring the older child, so if he's willing to get to the bottom of it, it's worth a try.

Best interests of children

Both Attorneys Schiff and Brice have given you excellent responses.Here is one more: What it seems you need it to learn why Dad does not want to visit with the 10 year old.What you haven't said is, What does the 12 year old say about these events? Does he know? While the 10 year old is upset, has he given you any input as to why Dad has rejected him?Consult local atty and IFIFIF you have noncommunicative relationship with your ex-husband AND . . . IFIFIF 12 year old will not freak out, ask that the visits stop -- temporarily -- until Dad reveals to guardian ad litem or counselor why he does not want to visit with younger child.What is most important here also is not to create a situation which divides the two children. When you and Dad are gone, they will need each other as family.This disparate treatment is unconscionable to children still tender in age and cannot be shoveled under the carpet.But it is true, the courts are neither equipped nor inclined to interfere with such human complexities.Does Dad have a best friend? Is there some mutual family friend? grandparents? aunts? uncles? even new girlfriend?Remember it is the boys whose interests must take top priority. Good luck!

Visitation with only one child

What he is allowed to do for visitation is determined by the existing courtorders. Most courtorders do not anticipate this problem so it is rare that appropriatelanguage is included. Heprobably can take one and leave the other. If you go to court, the courtwill probably order novisitation unless he visits both children. The question is why is hedoing this? Most of thetime this occurs, it is an attempt to abuse the custodial parent. If so,changes in orders mayresult in a different type of emotional harm being inflicted.