Legal Question in Family Law in New Jersey

My ex boyfriend in the UK left me at 7 months pregnant and stopped paying any money (he used to pay the babysitter as I worked full time) when I left for the US in Nov 2004, my son was then 1 year old. He said "it is better that you and Matthew leave", see, he has another family and was living a double life. He since has not paid any child support claiming he would not finance 'my' life here and that because he does not get to see him he does not have to pay anything by UK law. (which I have not checked up on). He used to call every 2 weeks to see if Matthew is okay, when in fact he never asks about matthew, makes remarks about missing me and other comments which have nothing to do with Matthew. Recently I have asked him to call every month because his call upsets me. He has been in the US several times ( I have allowed him to visit seversl times) and has not always asked to see Matthew unless he is in the 'area' and suits his schedule. He made an unanounced visit to Matthews bus stop as I this time I had denied his visit as he is not paying any money, I eventually had to go to the police as he was waiting outside my door and had followed me from my work on the train. He does not know anything about Matthew, who was a special ed child for 2 years as he did not speak till he was four and he does not even know his favorite color or game or tv show because when he calls he talks about himself. He puts up a 'show' of pretending to care but the facts should speak for themself? I want to file Extreme Parental Disintrest, what chances do I have?? Finally Matthew does not know him and would not recognize him in the street or over the phone. I have since married and have a 4 year old girl, we have a very stable family life and my husband has always been daddy, financially and emotionally.
Help, his constant presence in my life cause me extreme anxiety and sadness because I know him well enough to know that he is not interested in Matthew but just wants to disrupt my life. I have many witnesses , even from his side of the family who can contend to what I am saying and to the way I was treated when pregnant and gave birth- eg. His absence when I rushed Matthew to hospital alone at 3 months old, he said he did not return my call because a 'clean cut is the best' ......
Thank you
Kind regards
Dionne

Asked on 1/04/10, 12:56 pm

2 Answers from Attorneys

Robert Gleaner Robert A. Gleaner, P.C.

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It appears that you clearly have the basis to obtain a "step-parent adoption". Your husband could make an application to become the adoptive father of your son and you would be able to get rid of this guy forever. While you technically could attempt to do this on your own, it is a little complicated and you would be better off getting an attorney to help you.

Keep in mind that this advice is given based on the little bit of information that you have provided in your question. My advice may change based on other information. Further, no one can rely on advice from an attorney who has not been retained. You cannot rely on this advice because we have not personally met and you have not retained me as an attorney. If you have not already done so, you should immediately meet with a Family Law attorney for a full consultation before you take any further steps. You may feel free to call me to discuss this matter in more detail. If you do so, mention Law Guru and your first one hour of time will be free. Good luck! Rob Gleaner

Answered on 1/09/10, 1:55 pm

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