Legal Question in Family Law in New Jersey

Do my children have a choice?

Short and sweet.....I have sole custody of my 2 kids ages 15 and 7 who live with me in our single family home in a beautiful neighborhood. My wife pays me child support as she left me to live with a co-worker. My kids ''reluctantly'' go with her twice a week for visitation. Now the holidays are approaching and NEITHER want to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with her because they are frightened by her boyfriend. Why? I don't know but my wife puts off the issue as nonsense. Presently, we have no holiday arrangements either through the court or she and I one-on-one. My 7-year-old cries like a baby when I mention going with their mother for Christmas. DO THEY HAVE TO GO AGAINST THEIR WILL? DO THEY HAVE A CHOICE NOT TO GO? I feel like a villain pushing them to go there. Unfortunately, their mother can care less about their feelings. Any thoughts????


Asked on 10/30/03, 7:31 am

2 Answers from Attorneys
Bruce Matez Gerstein Grayson, LLP

Re: Do my children have a choice?

If there is no Order and no written agreement between you, your children do not have to go. However, that really avoids the situation, which will continue in the future. I strongly recommend that you and your former wife go to mediation to resolve this issue or get into some family counseling with the children to resolve it. If left unresolved, it will only get worse in the future. IF you would like to further discuss this issue, please feel free to contact my secretary, Debbie, at 856-795-6700 to schedule a consultation with me.

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Answered on 10/30/03, 11:03 am
Lorraine Ahlers-Mack Law Offices of L.Ahlers-Mack

Re: Do my children have a choice?

You have a choice right now because there is no court order in place. However, in future you may be brought to court by your former spouse regarding this issue. I can speak to you regarding your options if you call me at (201) 330-0722. The court has programs in place which will assist you. Also family therapy sounds like an option. And, last but surely not least is the issue of the boyfriend. Why are the children reacting this way? You should get to the bottom of this. It may be nothing but with children you can never be too careful.

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Answered on 10/30/03, 2:57 pm


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