Legal Question in Family Law in New Jersey
Custodial Parent rights re: Grandparent
My fiance has custody of his 2 sons. Their mother has visitation from Sat to Sun every 2 weeks. (note: that the NCP was deemed unfit bythe courts and has only recently been allowed overnight visitation) Relations between my fiance and his mother(the paternal grandmother) have become strained. On 2 occasions, he arrived to pick the boys up from their visitation, only to find that one son was with HIS mother (the pat. grandmother)while the other remained with the ex. We later found out that he'd spent the night with g-mom.All without consulting him. He informed his ex AND mother,that when she has visitation the boys are NOT to go with his mother. Gmom informed him that she and the mother are within their rights to do this (note: we provide transportation for the boys as was ordered by the court, so one of them is NOT where they are supposed to be at the designated pickup time, necessitating additional travel) and he had no say. Can he restrict his mother from seeing the boys while with their mother? We have no desire to keep Grandmom from seeing the boys, but we do feel that it should be done with their father's approval and not during Mom's scheduled time.
1 Answer from Attorneys
Re: Custodial Parent rights re: Grandparent
Why shouldn't the kids be able to see their own grandmother during mom's time? By your statement that "[w]e have no desire to keep Grandmom from seeing the boys..." you are acknowleging that there is no problem with grandmom. What is at issue here is the desire to maintain power - evidenced by "it should be done with their father's approval..." You and your fiance need to come to an understanding about what you can and cannot control. As long as the children are safe during mom's time, mom has the ability to do what she wants, even leaving them with the paternal grandmom. If they are not safe, then you need to do something about it, and a lawyer can guide you in that regard. You also have the right to know where they are, but not the right to control where they go (again, as long as they are safe). Keep in mind that this advice is based purely on the little bit of information that you have given to me. There may be other factors that would change my opinion. Further, no one can rely on advice from an attorney who has not been retained. Since it appears that you have not retained an attorney, before you take any further action, you should contact an attorney (either me or someone else) to discuss your matter in more detail. Only then will you be able to rely on the advice. I will be happy to assist you. However, you need to call me at 856-546-8010. If you mention LawGuru, there will be no charge for your first consultation. As an aside, I have a question - Why are you asking the question and not your fiance. If the reason you are asking is because he has no access to a computer, that's fine. If you are asking because you are the only one dealing with these things and he's not (for whatever reason), then there is a problem. You should try to stay out of these situations as much as possible. While you are and will be important in the lives of the children, you should be guided by the actions of your fiance. If you are looked at as the controlling influence, not only by the mother, but by the children, only bad things can happen. If, on the other hand, you are seen as the supporter, the entire situation may be better. Just some food for thought. Good luck! Rob Gleaner
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