Legal Question in Family Law in New Jersey

DYFS removed all 4 of my children, ages 7,4,2, and 1 on 10/16/09. My 4 y/o daughter tripped and hit the corner of our doorway. She told her teacher her daddy hit her with a belt and her school called DYFS. We admitted to using the belt on our 2 oldest children but never hit them in the face or anywhere else, just their bottoms. They said we used "excessive corporal punishment" and in court stated my husband hit our daughter in the face with a belt buckle. They also said I beat our 2 y/o with the belt as she had a slight bruise on her back thigh, which came from her playing on her sisters' bunk bed. When they came to investigate they said we could set up a safety plan but when we agreed and did EVERYTHING they asked us they ended up taking the children anyway. I have a public defender and my husband has a lawyer from legal services. We have been to court 5 times but now don't go back until Jan. 11, 2010! Our 2 oldest are with their biological father and the 2 youngest are in a foster home. I gave birth to our 2nd son and the judge did allow him to stay in my custody as long as I move in with my mother. DYFS said my stepdad had to move out! He had an 11 y/o restraining order from his ex-wife and they said he could come back home after he had that taken care of. His ex dropped it and they still won't let him come home! He isn't violent in any way to my mom, me, my children, or anyone else! So now my mother and I are away from our husbands and children/grandchildren! Now I have to worry about my 2 y/o who's father is in prison and they just had to inform him and now his mother wants custody! They told me to have an abortion when I got pregnant with her and didn't want anything to do with her, and now they want custody. He also wrote me a very threatening letter. I'm not sure what he is in prison for but he has a rap sheet a mile long for drug involvement and robbery and molested his own sister, which his mother knew about and did nothing. I didn't want my daughter around him. His mother has had DYFS called on her several times for the condition that she lives in and she has 3 children, one of whom is her son's daughter from another girlfriend. We were ordered to have psychological evals done, which we did, and we have parenting classes scheduled starting 1/7/2010. DYFS doesn't seem to want to communicated with us and now we have to go through Christmas without our children! At the last court date the judge didn't want to hear anything and we were in and out with nothing accomplished. Should my parents get a lawyer? I don't see why my stepdad has to be kicked out of his own house until Jan or longer! Is there any way we can get another court date before Jan? What should I do about my 2 y/o? Is there any way I can protect her from her father and his family?

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