Legal Question in Family Law in New Jersey
I am a father. My ex who is the mother to my 9 year old little girl is forcing me to pay child support though I have been taking care of my child whom I see every other weekend and always ask if anything is needed. My girlfriend(current) and I are having a child and once I told my daughter she may have a brother or sister (which she was happy) and it was told to her mother, her mother then filed for child support 3 days later out of anger. The amount that was granted to her was so high and I felt I was prejudged before I even got to tell them the amount of poor care to my daughter in any way that can be named, and the fact that I have been offering for anything that is needed but her mother always says nothing she needs right now or when she does, I go out of my way to get it asap, especially clothes. That being said shes forcing me to do something she did long ago to her other 2 children that are not mine, and give up my rights because now I will not be able to afford to give her money and still be able to do things for my daughter when shes over on her weekends with me, or birthdays, Christmas, or any regular things she needs. On top of hurting current bills relating to rent, child on way, electricity, food, etc. I am upset at her pushing me this far to even think of this because I love my daughter and have always done everything possible for her and above all for her mother to do this in what seems personal jealousy at my daughter being happy when shes with us and with a family that cares about her. And makes sure she showers everyday shes with us and reads and has family time spent with us on the weekend. That's my little girl. What can I do to lower the amount and still be able to do for my daughter outside of the support? If I am forced to consider dropping my maternal/parental rights, how will that affect support? Honestly, I cant even believe I am asking that........guess all options I have to know, even those I don't want to face. Please help! I Live in New Jersey but my daughter is with her mother in New York except every other weekend.
2 Answers from Attorneys
I am assuming your child support case is in New Jersey and not New York. In general, child support is child support and it is very difficult to get the Court to divert from it. You cannot avoid it no matter what you do. There is no paper you can sign to give up your rights. I assume you went to court without an attorney. As a result, there is a good chance that your child support is wrong. The only way to know is to have an attorney calculate your child support to see. We'd be happy to do that for you. Just give us a call at 732/773/2768.
You were not previously supporting your child prior to the child support order. Buying things sporadically and feeding and clothing her when she is with you is not the same as child support. So in a way, you were really depriving your daughter while there was no child support being actually paid. At the same time, you cannot be sure that the child support has been calculated properly without a careful analysis through an attorney.
The issues involving lack of proper care need to also be addressed. You really need to talk with an attorney to be sure you know all of your rights and obligations.
Keep in mind that this advice is given based on the little bit of information that you have provided in your question. My advice may change based on other information. Further, no one can rely on advice from an attorney who has not been retained. You cannot rely on this advice because we have not personally met and you have not retained me as an attorney. If you have not already done so, you should immediately meet with a Family Law attorney for a full consultation before you take any further steps. Good luck! Rob Gleaner
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