Legal Question in Family Law in New Jersey
On July 1st 2009, my wife and I had an argument, and as I attempted to leave, my wife grabbed me, I pushed her off me, and left the premises. Police were called by a neighbor whom I have had problems with because they are not animal lovers like we are and I called ASPCA on them several times in the past for hurting and even poisoning stray animals.
The entire time my child was sleeping peacefully in her bed.
Police said because I pushed my wife, and we have kids, DYFS must be called. They charged me with simple assault for pushing, booked me, then immediately brought me back home to my wife and kid.
Later DYFS showed up, and separated my wife and I on my return. I complied and had no worry as this was obviously blown out of proportion, and thought this should be resolved pretty quick.
DURING THIS TIME I was completely cooperative with DYFS as was my wife. They were just about to leave feeling that my child was safe because of our cooperation.
At this point our child woke up and asked for her morning milk & Ovaltine, which my wife got for her.
One of these workers took my wife aside and started telling her I did not love her, I am no good for her, and other horrible things which my wife did not understand.
She had NO CHOICE but to address these issues with me right then and there as she felt I was going to leave her and it panicked her a bit as we have never been apart for more than a few hours.
DYFS put these lies into her head without ANY reason, much less any training in marriage or domestic counseling whatsoever.
They had NO RIGHT to say the things they did to her.
AT NO TIME DID I SAY I WOULD LEAVE HER OR MY CHILD.
NEEDLESS to say this put my wife in a state of panic and because they would not let her outside, she did call out to me begging me not to leave her. Then DYFS said they are going to take our child. My wife panicked begging and pleading with DYFS which they seemed to enjoy quite frankly.
Then the DYFS workers decided to allow my wife to leave the home with our child for the day as a �cool down� period. We both agreed, I thought �Anything to get these people out of here and stop causing a scene,� but because this was 5:30am, it took a few calls to get someone to agree to come down and pick them up. I was still kind of shocked that these poeple would dangle our child like a carrot back n forth.
After allowing only 20 minutes for someone to agree to come, get dressed, get in their car, and find their way to our home, DYFS then changed their mind AGAIN and said,� That�s it, we�re taking her.�
This totally blew my mind! They took the child, then less than 10 mins later, the ride showed up, but it was too late.
My child has never been away from us. We�ve never even had a babysitter, and my wife is a stay at home mom.
AT NO TIME WAS OUR CHILD EVER IN DANGER
DYFS LIED to us. DYFS lied in court, telling the courts we were intoxicated, which we were not. If we were so drunk, why would cops bring me home?
why would they be prepared to leave, as stated in court, leaving the child with us? Then changing their mind threatening to take the child,
Then changing their mind again allowing her to leave with the child if she was so drunk?
They told the courts we were hostile, which was also a lie, as we were compliant until they changed their minds a 3rd time about taking our child and put us both into a frenzied panic.
They even lied about a statement given by a friend of mine who was staying with us at the time. They interviewed him, and the DYFS worker asked if he ever saw us drunk before. He stated he has in fact seen us DRINK before. DYFS lied in court by saying he stated he saw us DRUNK before. Big difference. We would never get drunk in front of or around our children. This was another lie. I can have a statement by him to this effect.
DYFS stated in testimony that we have had police called out before because of drinking. This is another lie, and I have statements by a Gloucester city worker, stating that police were called out by our animal hating neighbor, because of stray cats in our yard, not drinking. I can have a statement by her to this effect.
Neither my wife nor myself were even allowed to defend ourselves or even speak in our own behalf of these allegations, and now we�re found guilty of child neglect even before our trial. Even my P.D. was allowed only 5 mins with me before we began. I fired her, and stood up in court and told the whole story. (Most of this letter is from that testimony ver batum.)
Now I find out that my judge has been working for DYFS as their lawyer for 20 years, and I cannot even get a change of venue because of conflict of interest. (They won't say why)
I feel there is something VERY, VERY wrong here. I understand DYFS gets good money for stealing children and placing them in homes but this was far from necessary.
DYFS has been sued multiple times for lying under oath, changing stories, and neglect.
DYFS caused us to panic, as nobody has ever taken a child from me before.
I have never been accused by DYFS or any other family services of anything EVER.
I have raised my 20 yr old son my own since he was 13, who now works for the NFL, with no problems and he�s an awesome boy. My daughter is also a wonderful child who is well versed in English, Math, and even the computer thanks to the EXCELLENT parenting of my wife and my self. We even had our children assist us with a vegetable garden by stating a family that grows together stays together.
My stepson (My wife�s son) is a wonderful boy, and though his father makes 3 times more money than I do, I am paying child support to the father for his kid as my wife is at home with our daughter. He is not allowed to be with us either until this issue is resolved.
My wife is a great mother, who cooks home meals 6 days a week for our kids instead of eating instant foods out of boxes and packets. I work very hard to allow my wife to stay home with our children to teach them better. She shows them how to cook, clean, and do for themselves.
She is constantly enrolled in her son�s school programs to assist in field day, school library, etc. These field days are now also in jeopardy because of this decision.
We take them on educational trips, my 3 yr old watches only wholesome TV (Barney Sesame Street, etc)
My wife and I both were both tested on the 6th of July, the 1st time tested positive for marijuana, and I stated we had in fact took a couple puffs off one marijuana cigarette two weeks before this incident.
On July 23rd 2009 I tested negative for everything proving my prior statement.
I am now told that it will be three months before my child is returned because of this �dirty urine� on the 6th of July.
This is NOT the reason we were even in court.
I may not be perfect, but I am HARDLY a child abuser, nor alcoholic, nor drug addict.
None of our children have ever been hit anywhere but a slight smack on the hand if the baby touches something she is not allowed to, and a smack on the butt. All other punishment consists of being sent to their room, or privileges being taken away.
As stated by my stepson.
I will APPEAL this decision, as my children were NEVER in ANY kind of danger.
I am a Minister, a good Father, and even perform many benefits for children who are suffering, which is now also in jeopardy because of this decision.
Finally since my child has been in DYFS custody, I have only seen her one hour per week, and have found cuts, and bruises on her body, her hair was cut without permission,(we have pictures to that effect.) the driver picked her up stating she was soaked in her own urine,and had to ask for her to be changed into other clothes and I am VERY worried about her welfare.
EVERYONE argues, but I do not feel we were guilty of anything except being angry with each other at the time.
I also feel we were not given a fair hearing in this matter.
I host a radio talk show that is there for people to call in and allow me to give them insight on their daily lives. I help people for a living, not hurt them.
My wife and I have been physically ill due to the loss of our children with no warnings no chance to redeem ourselves, or even a chance to speak on our own behalf.
AT NO TIME WAS OUR CHILD IN ANY DANGER
AT NO TIME WERE WE UNCOOPERATIVE UNTIL DYFS CHANGED THEIR MIND THE 3RD TIME AFTER DANGLING OUR CHILD IN FRONT OF US LIKE A CARROT OVER AND OVER.
THEREFORE I have no other recourse than to APPEAL this decision.
Ex-Congressman Rob Andrews has met us on several occasions, and said we have a beautiful family.
I want to fight this decision, with everything I have, even if it means taking this to a higher court.
I implored the court to return our child to us before further damage is done, and more time and money is wasted frivolously, but again this judge was a DYFS lawyer and only sees their side.
My question, is once the child is returned, should we try and sue DYFS? Do we have a case? Emotional stress, on the children and us, physical abuse, etc etc?
Also if you won't take the case, do you know someone a little closer to us? We live in Gloucester heights.
As a radiohost I want to get this story out, but afraid it may cause bigger waves for my wife and I. What should I do?
1 Answer from Attorneys
Filing something against DYFS is like playing the lottery. Millions will try, few will win. You can do whatever you want, but I doubt you will ever find an attorney to take the case. Just my opinion. I would focus on getting your children back. You have to have an attorney now and he/she would be in the best chance to answer all questions.