Legal Question in Family Law in New Jersey

My lawyers went against me towards the end of my divorce...I have know lawyers my husband is not complying with a lot of things I understood in the degree but I was under deruss and distress and a lot of meds through my separation and divorce. He is living the life of riley and I am struggling between half the mortgage till the house is sold and my health benefits that's my alimony I am living on some annuity and my alimony is not permanent. I don't work and my husband new of my disorders before we were married as he came and lived with me and took care of me I suffer from anxiety/agoraphobia etc that limits a lot of things...my lawyers put things in the settlement I didn't understand or even knew about like non modifiable even if I am in the streets and a few other things..I cannot get legal help as I still owe my lawyers 15,000 they took 45,000 and have not sp0ke with me since I left the court day of divorce which I should have not signed anything I was on 3 Xanax and a Zoloft I was pretty numb..can I take him back to modify if I can find a lawyer. He is living the life of riley I cant even find an apartment affordable.

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