Legal Question in Family Law in New Jersey

Re: Can I make a major decision concerning the kids even if he doesn't agree

Your question concerns probably one of the most important areas of a child's life with an incredible array of choices, and therefore disputes. It is so difficult for even married couples to come to agreement on many aspects of a child's life; as you are finding out, it is even more difficult when you are divorced.

Your ex has hurt his position in this case by not reacting at all. In essence, it could be argued that in light of his failure to act, he consented to allow you to do what needed to be done under the time frame that you had. If he had wanted to stop what you were doing, it is my opinion that he should have made his position known to you and if you insisted, then an application would have been brought to the Court. In the absence of a Court Order to the contrary, you can basically do what you want to do.

Your second question concerning the visitation is much more problematic. Most judges take the position that the children cannot dictate the visitation schedule and they should be forced to attend visitation. Especially with older children, however, this may be very difficult to enforce. I am more concerned about why the children do not want to attend visitation with their father. In this situation, many fathers accuse the mothers of "poisoning" their children's minds and "badmouthing" them to the children. I don't know your situation and believe me, I am not accusing you of this. However, it is very important to get to the bottom of this. Sometimes the only way to do this is through counseling. Many counties have free visitation counseling programs in which you may be able to participate. Also, your insurance may cover counseling sessions with psychologist/social workers. You really should look into this. It is in the best interests of the children to have good relationships with both parents.

Keep in mind that this advice is based purely on the little bit of information that you have given to me. There may be other factors that would change my opinion. Further, no one can rely on advice from an attorney who has not been retained. Since you have not retained an attorney in this case, before you take any further action, you should contact an attorney (either me or someone else) to discuss your matter in more detail. Only then will you be able to rely on the advice. I will be happy to assist you. However, you need to call me at 856-546-8010. If you mention LawGuru, there will be no charge for your first consultation. Good luck! Rob Gleaner

Re: Can I make a major decision concerning the kids even if he doesn't agree

hi - i'd like to see your divorce judgment or custody order...it usually will address issues like these. if it doesn't, since i just received your message on 9/17, your question is probably resolved by now.

if not, feel free to call me at 609 263-0089. as far as the visitation is concerned, most judges will usually order the visits to continue, regardless of what the kids want.

good luck !!