Legal Question in Family Law in New Jersey
There used to be an official court ordered CS order in place between my ex and I. After I lost my job I ended up on welfare and petitioned the courts to terminate the CS order, which they did (I was living in a shelter with a baby I have full custody of from another relationship, and was on welfare at the time). My ex is on welfare too and has been for 3 years (he has no desire to work). My CS order was terminated as it was viewed as a 'wash' since we were both on welfare at the time. At the hearing at the family court house I asked the hearing officer (twice) if I needed to come back to court when I started working to notify them and he practically winked at me and said, 'No, you do not come back unless you get something in the mail saying to do so.' 8 months later I got a small part-time job making 200 a week. I notified welfare (and my welfare case was subsequently closed) but did not tell my ex. I have kind of kept up the fa�ade that I am still on welfare to him, although I am not. I give him cash, clothes, groceries, and whatever else he needs for the kids. I figure, welfare knows I am working now, and they are usually the ones who get the court ordered child-support when the other parent is on welfare (as my ex is). So, although it is a bit dishonest of me not to tell my ex I am off welfare, it is not so horrible as I notified welfare within the appropriate time period, and they would have been the ones pocketing most of the money anyway.
My concern is this: If my ex finds out I have deceived him about still being on welfare, would I be forced to pay retroactive child-support back to the date I begun working? He probably has a recording of me at some point saying 'I am still on welfare' at a time when I was not anymore. He records everything lol. He hates me and would be spiteful and drag me to court even though he wouldn't see the money, welfare would.
I wouldn't mind doing this all through the courts, but I know they will impute my income as if I am working full-time and I can't afford it. I went from living in a homeless shelter and being on welfare, to working part-time and taking online college classes in an effort to better my future and in turn the future of my kids. I have custody of a baby from a different relationship and need to pay his daycare, gas to get to work, car insurance, etc. The imputation of full-time income to me would literally mean I would lose my job, as I would no longer be able to afford the most basic things (gas, daycare expenses, car insurance).
Do I need to tell my ex I am no longer on welfare? Can I be charged retroactive childsupport dating back to the time I begun working? If he recorded me as saying (over the phone) that I am on welfare when I am not will I get in trouble?
I am so stressed over this. I am not a dead beat or bad person. I give ALOT to my kids. More then a child support order would have me give (although I know it does not count as child support).
When the original CS case was closed it was closed with a credit balance (I had actually overpaid by about 300). It was closed, not suspended. As I said,
1 Answer from Attorneys
My quick comment is that you seem to be trying to justify actions that may be "on the edge" and you are trying to get around what may be actually proper and legal. That being said, you definitely need to seek the advice of an attorney to figure all of this out. Your entire situation is too complicated and not suited to be answered in this format. One comment that you made is very interesting, that being that you give more to your children than that which you would pay for child support. If that is the case, what is your fear? Just pay the child support and you will come out ahead monetarily. Bottom line - see an attorney before you make any decisions.
Keep in mind that this advice is based purely on the little bit of information that you have given to me. There certainly may be other factors that would change my opinion. Further, no one can rely on advice from an attorney who has not been retained. You will only be able to rely on advice from an attorney who you have actually retained. Good luck! Rob Gleaner
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