Legal Question in Family Law in New Jersey

Silencing a parent who shares custody

My boyfriend of 7 months and his ex, divorced 12/16/03 after his ex had requested a divorce over a year & 1/2 ago. She had an affair w/a friend of the famliy. Before my BF could request a divorce based on her infidelity, she filed for one under mental cruelty so as to spare thier 2 sons (ages 10 & 12 at the time) from finding out the truth. My BF agreed to spare them the mental anguish of knowing about her affair, so he went through w/the divorce under mental cruelty. They also agreed at that time not to tell the children of the pending divorce and lived out that year & 1/2 under the same roof as ''husband and wife''. My BF & I met and started dating 2 months before thier divorce was signed and finalized. He stayed in the house at her request until she found employment in Feb. On 3/17 he moved in with me. She has maintained her ''secret'' relationship w/the other man unbeknownst to the sons. They think the divorce is for irreconcilible reasons. They also did not know of me until she told them this past wknd. I assume she wants them to think I am the reason for the divorce. They share joint custody and she wants to silence him from telling them she'd fallen in love with someone 2yrs ago & so the divorce was way before me. Can she?


Asked on 5/11/04, 12:51 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys
Bruce Matez Gerstein Grayson, LLP

Re: Silencing a parent who shares custody

Neither can stop the other from telling the children anything. They need to think of their children. It is not their burden to bear. It should not matter to the children why their parents got divorced and it is really none of their business. That is between the parents. How can it possibly benefit anyone for either party to tell the children about affairs or reasons for the divorce. Who cares why they got divorced? The law and the Court certainly do not care. Its over. Move on.

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Answered on 5/11/04, 1:21 pm


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