Legal Question in Family Law in New Mexico

Re: Child Custody

It is unclear to me what the current status of your daughter's custody is. However, in most cases custodial parent signifies that parent the child spends most of his or her time with. It can also signify the child's "home" or "base". If that is the case, then it is certainy possible to change the custody arrangement.

If you have somehow waived your parental rights, it may be more difficult.

In both cases you will most likely have to go to the Court for a remedy. It sounds like your ex is not in a negotiating frame of mind. The court process will involve filing a petition to modify custody, a referral to court clinic (the clinic evaluates these types of situations, may attempt mediation and then makes recommendations to the Court if the parties cannot agree on a solution)and then a decision by the judge.

Your daughter is old enough that the Court will put more emphasis on her wishes than on a younger child. However, the Court will also look at other factors, most noteably whether it is the best interest of your daughter to live with you or her father.

I do handle these cases and would be more than happy to set up an appointment to speak with you. I handle these case on an hourly rate. My hourly rate is $120.00 per hour plus tax. I usually require a $2,000.00 retainer to start work on a case. The ultimate cost may be less and it could be more.

Your email indicates that your daughter is sufficiently upset that running away is an option. This could be an idle threat, but should be treated seriously. If you can afford an attorney, I recommend highly that you retain one.

Finally, you imply in your email that your husband has been verbally abusive and threatening in speaking with you about this situation. If this is true, you don't have to put up with it and you should not put up with. These types of situations can become very explosive very quickly. If you feel that you may be in danger speaking to him about it, insist on getting a lawyer, or a qualified third party, to be present at all meetings. If you can't afford a lawyer or find a qualified third party to help, please have a safety plan in mind before you meet with him. Such a plan would include what you would do should he become violent, who you would call, notifying someone where you will be before you go to meet him, the chance of him having a weapon, etc. And, please don't feel shy about calling the police.

Finally, finally, you should keep your daughter out any discussions with your ex. You now how she feels, and it is my opinion that it is now solely up to you and her father, taking your daughter's wishes into consideration, to resolve this issue. By all means keep her updated on the status but don't run down your ex-husband in front of her or use her as an intermediary in the negotiations. Those things always hurt the children.

I hope that this helps.