Legal Question in Family Law in New Mexico
My ex and I got divorced August 2009. I wanted out clean and simple so I did an uncontested divorce and let him have what he wanted. In the property and debt list he took the car and the loan and we parted ways.
Well a year later the car was still under my name and financed under my name. I thought that the property and debt list implied that he had to legally and financially take responsibility for the property awarded him in the divorce. So I took him to court under an order to show cause that he was violating our divorce decree.
My ex is in the military and being a military town the judge took favor on him and said he was not going to penalize him because he didn't want to hurt his military career. I appeared to the hearing by phone because I moved out of the state after the divorce. The judge gave him two more months to refinance the loan and register the car in his name. Well the next hearing came around and my ex was full of excuses again so he got two more months. The hearing is set for a month from now and I know for a fact nothing is done. In a passionate angry fury, I wrote the judge a 5 page typed single spaced letter about how my ex is a lying manipulator and how he thinks this is a big joke, citing his Facebook statuses and our phone conversations post the last two hearings. The judge's secretary called me and said she isn't going to give the judge the letter and if I have anything else to add to the case I will have to submit a new motion.
Im a young college student I don't have the time or money to get an attorney or to go to his state to go to court. By but phone I feel like no one is taking me seriously and Im not getting the proper chance to voice my stance on the situation. I just called my ex to ask him the status of everything and he was just rude about it all and giving me more of his sob story excuses.
Im so frustrated. What can I do???
1 Answer from Attorneys
You list a zip code of California. You do not say in what state you got the divorce. If you are in NM and the divorce is in CA you will need to submit your inquiry to CA and not NM.
Be that as it may, first - don't write letters to the judge. (1) It is a dumb thing to do. (2) That is called an ex parte communication. Ex Parte communications are (for the lack of a better phrase) against the law. If you feel compelled to write to the judge then write it, read it and throw it away. Courts are not about judges getting letters from angry ex spouses. Courts are about the law.
Second, the law in your case is that your ex is not following the divorce decree. Period. I can not offer you more specific advice because you did not say in what state you were divorced and you did not say what were the terms of the divorce decree. You should take your divorce decree to an attorney and ask the attorney to read it and then ask the attorney to explain what options are available for you to ask the court to award. Third, there are plenty of courts that have a "pro se" department or area and you can go to your local court house and ask about getting "pro se" help. You may be able to talk to an attorney at such a place for no cost or they may be able to direct you a low cost or no cost program or attorney who can answer some questions for you. The New Mexico state bar at nmbar.org has a lawyer referral service for a low fee where you can talk to an attorney for 30 minutes - for a nominal fee. If you are in CA or your divorce is in CA then you may have a similar service through your state bar in that state.
Last, (and this may be like a little bit of dirty pool,so to speak but,) you may be able to contact his commanding officer at his military unit or contact the JAG office at his military base. As an attorney I have contacted my fair share of commanding officers and (be nice when you talk to them) they actually turn out to be quite helpful. They have - hmmm, how do I say, "a little more control" over the enlisted member. They also get a little PO'd at military members whose ex spouses have to call them to ask the military member to follow the law. I hope this helps - a little.
Good Luck
Law Guru
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