Legal Question in Family Law in New Mexico

Re: legal age for a child to decide whom he wants to live with.

The world of what's legal and what isn't is more gray than black and white. The law that talks about children and at what ages they can have INPUT into the process says something to the effect that if a judge is deciding the issue of physical custody of a child then beginning at age 14 one of the considerations (among about 7 to 10 different points to consider) is "what are the wishes of the child?" Other than the child being able to have some input into the equation the child does not get to choose. The reason being is that children get to live with the decisions (or lack of decisions) that adults make.

So, that's the legal answer to your question. The other part of your question "isn't there some other way than going to court" can be answered in the affirmative. You can go to mediation with the other parent. Mediation is a highly successful method by which parents can reach agreements over issues of which they may believe they are quite divided. The mediation can include, if you so desire, having the child give input also. In the end though nobody lets the child choose. We do not consider it to be proper to make a child pick between two parents. It is an inhumane thing to do to a child. If you do not follow what I am saying then go to the library and pick up an old book called "Sophie's Choice." Read that and you'll know what I am talking about.

Good Luck.