Legal Question in Family Law in New Mexico

Re: Motion for merits

A "hearing on the merits" is the legal jargon for what the lay person knows as a trial. Because the matter in which your son is presently involved is only a motion hearing - it is not a full blown trial - he gets a hearing on the merits of the motion before the court.

This is the time for your son to go and spend some money seeking the advice of a lawyer. Even if he buys "consultation time", that is, he just lets the lawyer see the motion and he tells what has occured and then asks, "what should I do?" he can at least get a sense of direction in how to behave and what to say in the courtroom. Your son should know that it is not proper for him to write to the judge. He is suppose to talk to the ex-wife's lawyer. The judge will only decide things that are done in the courtroom. Since the letter came from outside the courtroom the judge can do nothing about it. It is likely the judge sent a copy of the letter to the lawyer on the other side - that is the proper thing to do. The lawyer and your son can negotiate and try to get the issue settled. That is what they are supposed to be doing at this stage.

If he does not have the money to hire a lawyer then he needs to get off of the emotional issue he is dealing with presently (not seeing his son and having to accept on some level that the accusations she has made are real to her) and deal with this issue like it was a business deal. I know it is not a business deal. But, to the lawyer and to the judge, it can mostly be described in those terms. One of the reasons people hire lawyers is to get some emotional distance from the case so that business can get done. If your son does not have a lawyer (for whatever reason) then he needs to act like HE is the lawyer for his best friend - HIMSELF and also that he is a friend to his child. Whatever is going on he needs to take the approach of saying "what do I have to do to get this situation fixed?" If he is able to do that then he should contact the lawyer and ask the same question except change the "I" to "we". Then, he should do whatever he has to do to get the situation fixed. Being a successful parent does not always mean that you have to admit you were wrong but it can mean to act as if you were and then do what the other parent believes is the right thing.

Good luck.