Legal Question in Family Law in New Mexico

Re: Questions about our rights.

The first thing I will say up front is get a lawyer! Next, put all your options on the table and then discuss each and every one. Just because you discuss it doesn't mean you will choose to accept that option. But, discuss it nontheless. Some of those options include, (without any order as to priority) (*) adoption by strangers; (*) adoption by you and husband; (*) guardianship by you and your husband; (*) daughter simply raising the child in your home until she either gets on her feet or until all of you agree as to a course of action for her to get out on her own; (*) daughter and the boy raising the child together; (*) the boy taking the child and raising it on his own. There may be other options I am not presently thinking about so list more if you can think of them.

Obviously, your daughter and the child are your highest priority. The boy should be put on a short leash - immediately, if not sooner. Tell him to get a job and when he comes to visit he can bring money. If he doesn't like it he can save his money and go to court to assert any rights he believes he has but you are under no obligation to entertain him or have him in your home - so, cut him off . . . right now.

On the legal side, until the child is born there is not a whole lot that can be done. Certainly you presently have some pre-birthing expenses but nothing like the costs that will begin after the child arrives (as you are [painfully] aware).

Ultimately, if you adopt or otherwise become guardians of the child (if she is at home and living with you you will be "de facto" guardians) then you can have a significant amount of power over the boy. That might help keep him in line. He will NOT be able to take a newborn baby out of the house for visitation (unless you have created a very hostile environment; and, even then he may not have many, if any, visitation rights out of the home before 18 months). There are plenty of psychological theorys (and psychologists) that support how unhealthy and not in the best interests of the child such an action (out of home visitation) would be. Until the child reaches age 3 dad can have visitation in the home but no child under 3 should have overnight visits away from his or her primary home and bed. That is just that.

See my other posts for pointers on how to find lawyers in your town if you are not familiar with one who practices in the area of Family Law.

Good Luck.