Legal Question in Elder Law in New York

daughter & husband written harassment of mother

60 year old daughter (oldest of 2 daughters)and husband writing letters and e-mails to the 86 year old Mother describing how Mother did not and still does not meet the daughters needs. These sent since the Father died in August. Mother & Father married for 62 years. Letters also request copy of the current will. They have copy of the previous joint will. Daughter eloped to Italy when 17 yrs old with boyfriend parents didn't approve of. Boyfriend/husband stationed in Italy and was home on leave when they eloped.

Mother recently moved 300+ miles to be with youngest dughter after death of the Father. I am the husband of youngest daughter.

These correspondences are causing Mom much distress and much soul searching/doubt about herself over some of the pointedly hurtful parts of the letters.

Would like to find more about this type of harassment and share with the older daughter towards 1. getting the letters to stop & 2. finding possible avenues for reconciliation.

Have not been able to find literature, agencies, professionals dealing with this type of ''passive'' harassment/intimidation.


Asked on 4/07/06, 2:23 pm

2 Answers from Attorneys

Debra Palazzo Law Offices of Debra Palazzo, LLC

Re: daughter & husband written harassment of mother

The daughter has the right to write letters to the Mother concerning the past or any other subject. (I do not see harrassment/intimidation in these letters).

The Mother has an equal right not to read them and/or ignore them. There are no laws to protect a Parent from the expressions of the hurt feelings of a child no matter the age the child is.

However, the daughter has no legal right to receive a copy of the will (she can request all she wants).

It appears to me that there are alot of hurt feelings in this family that need to be resolved before "it is to late".

It appears also that you may be the conduit for same. Perhaps pointing out to the older daughter that she may be acting selfishly for "dumping" on the Mother for past acts/mistakes that she can not possibly change at this point.

Your wife (youngest daughter) is only responsible for her own behaviour and should not carry any guilt for acts of others. Good Luck.

Debra Palazzo

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Answered on 4/07/06, 5:20 pm
Phroska L. McAlister PHROSKA LEAKE McALISTER

Re: daughter & husband written harassment of mother

I very much agree with Atty Palazzo's response,

However, I would add that, IF your father in law's Joint/ Mutual Will with his wife, made provisions for (his oldest daughter, your sister in law, IN HIS WILL, and those provisions or dispositions, do not apply until your mother in law's death, your sister in law, could reasonably expect; or MAY be entitled to receive a copy of her mother's current will, other documents or statements of account, concerning jointly held/Willed assets.

Good luck,

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Answered on 4/07/06, 6:59 pm


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