Legal Question in Elder Law in New York

My mother is 86 years old with dementia and diabetes. Mom was diagnosed with dementia in July 2008. Doctor authorized home care in Sept. 2008. I obtained durable power of attorney in Oct. 2008. Since dad's death in 1978, as the oldest of 2 siblings of my parents, my name was always on Mom's bank accounts. Oct. 15, 2009, Social Security approved me to be Mom's representative payee. One year later, my sister obtained her own durable power of attorney. Nov. 1, 2009, my sister, her daughter, & family friend took mom to the bank and closed out her checking account, and terminated my representative payee with SSA. My sister opened a checking account with Mom and she became her SSA representative payee. My sister says she is NOT Mom's representative payee. My sister now has durable power of attorney and mom doesn't remember signing any papers or going to the bank or to social security. Mom's bank statements go to my sister's address in another New York City borough. I live in the same borough as Mom. SSA didn't investigate accusations that were brought against me by my sister. Instead they terminated me and approved my sister. To date, my sister hasn't spent any of Mom's SSA money on her welfare. She is more interested in saving the money to show that she is a better manager than I was. Mom complains that she is lacks money now that my sister is handling the matters. Mom stated that she didn't have this problem when I was handling her finances. Using the power of attorney, on March 19, 2010, my sister changed the beneficiary on Mom's life insurance policy that has been in effect since 1986. Every agency that I sought social services from will no longer communicate with me because my sister has power of attorney.Mom is also a diabetic. My sister has been negligent regarding the infection on my mother's small toe that was caused by a procedure by the podiatrist during a home visit. After 1.5 months, I took my mother to the emergency room and she was diagnosed with "dry gangrene." I have taken Mom to see a diabetic podiatry doctor and to the vascular surgeon. A series of studies must be done on Mom to determine the severity of the toe. My sister has instructed the home health aide not to give me general or medical information about my mother. My sister doesn't return any of my phone inquiries about my mother. She has threatened to seek an order of protection against me to keep me away from my mother. She has also threatened to call the cops and have me arrested if I take Mom to the hair salon, or any appointments without her permission. The home health aide reports everything to my sister. The home health aide doesn't grocery shop for my mother. Mom lacks the proper food for the home health aide to cook other than a "big breakfast." My sister is in charge of Mom's food stamp card. Mom is unhappy with how she is being treated and feels she made a mistake in allowing my sister to "share" in her welfare. Mom is often without an adequate amount of money to meet her needs as when I was her agent. Mom cannot fight for herself. I have photos, logs, & Mom's voice recordings on this issue. How do I help my Mom?

1 Answer from Attorneys

Related Questions & Answers

More Elder Law questions and answers in New York

Looking for something else?