Legal Question in Elder Law in New York

If a spouse dies and the other spouse is deemed unable to care for his/herself due to illness, how does one become the primary care taker? Scenario: Spouse has Alzheimer's. Together husband and wife have 4 children who have different views of how to proceed with their parent- (state funded homes, private homes, in-home care, etc). While the "mentally fit" parent is still alive, is there a way that s/he can ensure that one of the children becomes completely responsible for the care of the individual, with the ability to make definitive decisions? Thus, leaving the others no say. Also, does it matter if this is across multiple states?


Asked on 1/12/14, 4:25 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys
Richard Bryan Richard Bryan Attorney PC

The only way to accomplish this is to start a guardianship proceeding now to have one of the children appointed as guardian for the incapacitated spouse. At least when you're alive you can tell the judge which child you want to be in charge of your spouse and the others will find it difficult to go against your wishes in front of the judge.

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Answered on 1/27/14, 5:29 pm


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