Legal Question in Elder Law in New York

Terminally Ill Elderly Father Being Manipulated

My father is terminally ill with a slow-moving illness. As the illness has progressed, my father has become, I believe, clinically depressed. He has been hitting himself in the head, crying, screaming, acting irrationally, etc. I am very worried about him, esp. because he refuses to let me help him. In addition to all of this, his best friend has moved in to ''take care of him'' & she has been psychologically abusive of him. She has done everything she can to alienate his family from him, so that he has no 1 to depend on but her. She is very controling & the family is worried that she may not be acting in his best interest. Is there anything that I can do as his only child? My father is not senile, just depressed. We are worried that he is making poor decisions. I think he feels blackmailed in a way... he has told me on several occassions that he doesn't agree with something that she has done, but that he can't say anything because if he does, she'll leave & no one will take care of him. That's not true; his family is willing to take care of him. He has no Health Care Proxy, burial plans or will this far and refuses to discuss anything. Do I have any legal rights so I can protect him from being manipulated? Help!


Asked on 3/11/08, 11:46 am

2 Answers from Attorneys

Richard Bryan Richard Bryan Attorney PC

Re: Terminally Ill Elderly Father Being Manipulated

If your father refuses to discuss anything and is not willing to sign a power of attorney or health care proxy for you or someone else in your family it doesn't seem like there's a lot you can do. Try to get a Geriatric Care Manager (social worker) to talk to him; perhaps get him to see a lawyer who can help talk some sense into him. Unless you're willing to go to court to have your father declared an "incapacitated person" and have a guardian appointed, there's not too much you can do. What "poor decisions" is dad making?

Good luck

Rick Bryan

New York, NY

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Answered on 3/11/08, 1:27 pm
Mark S. Moroknek Kelly & Curtis, PLLC.

Re: Terminally Ill Elderly Father Being Manipulated

This is a common feeling among children of parents in this condition. Unless your father is judicially declared incompetent, or consents to allow you to manage his funds, the only thing you can do is

petition the court to declare a guardian of your father's property.

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Answered on 3/11/08, 5:00 pm


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