Legal Question in Family Law in New York

Re: 2 part question

The "kind of trouble" your spouse would incurr, if you continue to attempt to control the other's personal conduct, is an antenuated divorce and troublesome child visitation and custody process, that inevitably would leave the children and both of you, with little money; and an extremely angry relationship with each other and the children.

Although a judge MIGHT entertain entering an order, for your soon to be ex spouse, not to smoke around the children in the house. Such an order would essentially be unenforceable.

Additionally, you would be putting your children in the unhealthy and frightening position of having to "police" their parent's smoking. And, your children would be in the position of possibly losing all further or future contact with their parent (who is likely to refuse to cooperate with either your or the Court's demand, to stop smoking, in his or her home, in or out of the children's presence), if and when they try to report to you, their parent's violation of the order/s.

The "penalty" for adultry, IS [the] divorce. In NY, Adultry may form the grounds for the divorce. But, it is a separate matter from marital property, support, custody, and visitation issues.

Thus, AFTER a divorce complaint has been filed, served and answered, there is generally, no "legal" penalty for a spouse to engage in adultery. Nor is it useful to raise [the] adultery issue, during the divorce proceedings, UNLESS it is part of a continuing course of conduct, that you recited or referenced, in your divorce complaint, already filed.

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You can REQUEST (rather than demand), that your soon to be EX, be discreet and protective of the children's sensibilities, in everything that is done around them.

You can also demand that your children not be exposed to explicit sexual conduct, especially where their parent is concerned.

But, it is unreasonable to expect that you have a right to demand that your soon to be EX, must adhere to your ideas, values or concerns, when the failure of same, is obviously part of the reason for your divorce.

Good luck,

Phroska L. McAlister,ESQ