Legal Question in Family Law in New York

Age to choose visitation

Hello, I hope someone can clarify this as soon as possible since Father's Day is on Sunday and it looks as though I'm not going to have my daughter. My paperwork says that I am always to have the 'children' on Father's Day, but my ex seems to think since it doesn't state 'all the children' that this means only my younger children and my daughter 'only if she wants to'. Now prior to our discussion on this my daughter did want to come over but my ex is making such a huge deal about it that now my daughter is saying she's going to be 'busy' and can't come over. My question is, at what age can a child make the decision that she doesn't want to come over for visitation? The only reason she's doing this is because she is put in the position of choosing between us. I sent out a certified letter today telling my ex that I expect her to be ready at the time stated on the papers, but am fairly sure that I won't get my daughter. Can anyone refer me to a statute or anything which can clarify this for me? Thank you


Asked on 6/15/06, 9:43 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Re: Age to choose visitation

The language of the decree is clear and the purpose behind it is not in dispute. Your ex clearly has some issues to work through and seems to be intent on manipulating you by withholding visitation with the children.

It is horrible of your ex-wife to put your children in the position of choosing between their parents; after all, the kids weren't a party to the divorce and should have the benefit of both parents love and attention. That being said, you have options. N.Y. courts FROWN on parents using children as pawns in a relationship gone bad. If this is a persistent problem, a change in the custodial situation is probably in order and your ex should consider how often she would like visitation when she loses custody. If this is just the beginning of "the game" then it is something you should speak with a local attorney about and be sure that this is documented (at the least, have him send a letter). If this is a matter that requires you to go to court, your ex MAY be liable for your legal costs.

Best of luck to you.

Read more
Answered on 6/16/06, 3:31 pm


Related Questions & Answers

More Family Law, Divorce, Child Custody and Adoption questions and answers in New York