Legal Question in Family Law in New York

Re: Child Support Arrears of 6 years

Please tell your daughter not to worry. It takes a long time before the Family Court resorts to jail. Also, the arrears will only go back to the date of this petition, not back to the date of your agreement. I believe the court would take into account that your ex-husband works full-time and has minimal living expenses. But this is what I think is even more important: a child should not make the decision about whether her non-custodial parent is taken to court for child support. It might help him to develop some character - which he clearly doesn't have much of - if someone makes him take his responsibilities seriously. Even if your daughter is 10 or 12 years old, she has no concept of what it means to have a few hundred dollars extra coming into the household every month - and this is money you are absolutely entitled to. It's not any sort of handout. He owes her the money. If she wants to go to college, or have a wonderful wedding, think what it would mean to be able to put part or all of this money into savings every month.

In other words: PLEASE TAKE YOUR EX-HUSBAND TO COURT FOR CHILD SUPPORT. He will pay approximately 17% of his gross salary, minus social security and a few other deductions. If receiving this money from him caused him or his parents not to want to see his daughter and their grandchild, they are not good for her.

So, can you tell that I feel pretty strongly about this. Your financial stability with your fiance is irrelevant. Unless he is independently wealthy, that money would make a big difference in your lives now and her future.

You are welcome to contact me to discuss this further, if you wish.

Billie Gray

Re: Child Support Arrears of 6 years

I would say that while Billie Gray's advice is sound, only you can decide what is right and what is worth the hassle to do.

You will have to take days off from work and go to family court. You will not be reimbursed for that time. You will have to serve him and only you know if he has any money and if it is worth it to do this.

Yes the rate he pays will be 17% of his gross minus some deductions. Finally courts differ, while many wait quite a while to sanction for contempt, others do not. If you think this will effect your child and her relationships with her father's family and with you, I would tread lightly. The question is not really what you are entitled to, so much as it is what is really best for your daughter. If she is not getting things she should have then go for it. If you are sacrificing things of importance so she can have what she needs then go for it.

If everything is fine, and you can afford it, sucking it up may in the long run be the best thing. Do not let someone elses agenda push you into making a decision that may ultimately lead to trouble for you or your child.

By the way, sometimes, a request for increase support brings on a counter request for a change in custody status. Your twelve or thirteen year old may ask to live elsewhere based on her twelve or thirteen year old mind. That possibility, while remote, may also be a can of worms not worth opening.

Good Luck with your decision.