Legal Question in Family Law in New York

Re: Father absent for four years

Your not wanting to go back to court places limitatons on the advice I can give you.

I would suggest that you try to talk to your former husband and suggest that he gradually reintroduce himself to your child by starting out with a few hours each weekend and then going from there.

Call me if you like.

Gary Moore, Esquire

Hackensack, New Jersey

www.garymooreattorneyatlaw.com

Re: Father absent for four years

Unfortunately, there is little, anyone can do to prevent your son's father, from acting like an ass. But, YOU do not need to continue dancing with a donkey.

Help yourself and child, by changing your attitude and approach, with respect to this matter. To wit: Stop permitting yourself to be "engaged," in your Ex's games. And, stop trying to "make sense" out this mess.

Be consistent. Be direct and honest. In ALL of your conversations and dealing w/ your child, Do not lie, or attempt to "protect" your child's feelings; or his father's image. Don't use platitudes, make believe or "best picture, stories," about how Daddy really loves him and so forth; nor the opposite.

Also, whenever, the father calls to speak to him, let your son speak with him, without question or comment.

Whenever, the father schedules a visit or time to be with your son, arrange for your son to be available; but do not change YOUR plans, for yourself. If your son "misses out" on something or is "stood up," allow him to be angry and dissappointed. Let it be, (while you cry in your room). Remember, that it is your son's burden to bear and survive, HIS father, not yours. You can help him best, by your constancy and by being the entire opposite of an irresponsible, self absorbed parent.

Good luck,

Re: Father absent for four years

I have read what the other attorneys have written. Gary Moore is once again pretty on target. I think you need to think this through. You may want to consult a mental health professional to find out what impacts might harm your child, and what you can do to assist your child to deal with this. I have no way to know whether the very interesting advice given by Attorney McAlister is good advice or not; it sounds as good as anything else I can think of, but I simply have no expertise in this area.

What Attorney Gary Moore is trying to tell you is that you really should not tolerate damaging behavior that really hurts your son. You should be willing to consider going in front of a Judge to prevent harm to your boy. Not a lovely option, but it might be the best course of action.

I suggest that you sit down with an expert divorce attorney, spend the money for a consultation, and get some advice. You are NOT trapped in this mess; you divorced this idiot, and need not allow him back to ruin your son's life.

If you would like, give me a call; I am in northern New Jersey. I will be happy to discuss this with you; the telephone consultation will be free.

My contact information can be obtained from the links below, just click on the Attorney Profile link. Let my secretary know you found me through LawGuru.

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