Legal Question in Family Law in New York

Re: Fight divorce

You cannot compel your wife to live with you, whether divorced or not. Also, you cannot be granted "custody" of your near adult or college age children, without their consent. Nor can it be said that your wife does not have grounds for a divorce, simply because you have not engaged in adultry or believe you have been cruel.

Please note, that given your description of your circumstances, you have essentially, not lived together as "marital partners" since 1998. Further, you report a history of mental illness, which could have resulted in repeated episodes, of behaviour, that the Court could decide was cruelty; and such conduct created an unsafe and unhealthy environment for your wife. Notwithstanding the possiblity that you were unable to control your behaviour, due your mental illness; and that you did not actually "intend" alarm or injury; "intent" is not usually required as part of the grounds for a divorce.

Don't waste your time or money "fighting" the divorce. Do, try to arbitrate the "other" issues, that concern you, ie., support, access to the children (with them), etc..

Good luck,

Phroska L. McAlister,ESQ

Re: Fight divorce

She would have to show grounds.

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Re: Fight divorce

This is a new situation for me.

Technically, she would have to show that you moved out, abused her in some way, were unfaithful, or (and this is the one she will use) you have declined to have intimate relations with her.

On this last basis, she may have sufficient grounds and your agreement will not be necessary. But the judge may not agree that you have 'refused' to have marital relations with her and then divorce would not be granted.

But most judges today do not really care about the evidence. They just want her to state under oath that you have refused and that will be enough to grant the divorce.

Look around for a free or 'pro bono' lawyer. You may qualify. Start with 'legal aid'.