Legal Question in Family Law in New York

helpthisstepmom

I am a step mother to my husband's two children that live with us (he has physical custody). The mother gets the kids every other weekend. In 1999 when they split, she showed up on his doorstep with them, and said ''take them until she got on her feet''. Two 1/2 years later he went to court for physical custody. Now she wants them back. She came to my house and hit me (a police report was filed) and since then 2 more times she has come to my house and tried to harm me. If I get a stay away-school functions would be difficult for me to attend. Does she have a chance to get them, with no source of income, no high school education and no residence of her own (she stays with a man that she has an open relationship with)? What should be the next course of action for us? She constantly threatens to take us back to court, and openly tells people that she will try to destroy my home and my marriage. Can I take her to court under the ''homewrecker'' laws in New York. Please help.

Desperate stepmama


Asked on 4/19/05, 8:38 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys
Phroska L. McAlister PHROSKA LEAKE McALISTER

Re: helpthisstepmom

A Step parent does not usually having any rights or privileges respecting "stepchildren" of her marriage, before the Courts, in opposition or response to a "natural" parent's claims, interest or petitions.

So,... you need to butt out. You do not need to attend functions or places with your stepchildren, where the mother is likely to be. Their father should be with them. Alone, if necessary.

Avoid ALL further contact w/ the mother, including phone conversations. Use third parties as necessary.

You might also insist upon pick up and delivery of the children, for their visitation, to take place away from your home, in a public safe place ... [even] in front of a police precinct.

If your description of the mother's circumstances is shown and proven to the Court to be true, it is unlikely the Court would decide changing custody, to be in the children's "BEST INTERESTS," which is the standard the Court must use in deciding child custody cases.

Good luck,

Phroska L. McAlister,ESQ

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Answered on 4/19/05, 11:37 pm


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