Legal Question in Family Law in New York
no Knowledge of divorce
my husband secretly in contact with a divorce lawyer. What happens if he gives me papers? Does that mean i have to pay for all this or what should i do.
3 Answers from Attorneys
Re: no Knowledge of divorce
If you're served with papers, you should hire an experienced matrimonial attorney immediately. Whether you end up paying for your own attorney or whether that becomes part of his responsibility is something that depends upon the circumstances - whether he has all the income and resources, or whether both of you work.
In the meantime, you should gather any financial records you can - make sure you know the locations and numbers of all your accounts, whether they are joint or in one person's name.
Re: no Knowledge of divorce
If your husband gives you any legal paper work you should contact a divorce lawyer of your own to discuss the case, the papers that you were served and what your legal rights are.
You will most likely have to pay your own attorney, at least a consultation fee, but under limited circumstances you can get legal fees from your spouse.
The first thing you should do is contact an attorney of your own choosing to set your self and get ready if you truly feel that your marriage is completely finished.
Re: no Knowledge of divorce
This does not mean the marriage is over, but it is something that you should discuss with your husband. Secrets add to confusion and can be disruptive. Counseling should always be discussed and pursued, even if divorce is ultimately agreed upon.
If you feel the marriage may be over then you must gather yourself and begin the difficult work of protecting yourself.
1. Begin looking for competant representation of your own. many lawyers give free consultations. I do; email is best to make an appointment with me.
2. you must begin collection of all financial information; brokerage accounts, bank accounts, and business transactions. These should be monitored for any changes.
3. This becomes more difficult if you have children under the age of 18. If you feel he may try to get custody, then you must know that, as the mother, you have an advantage, but that advantage is not what it was years ago. There are a number of ways that you can improve your chances of retaining the children for their own best benefit.
The best way to protect yourself is to begin working with a lawyer early. The earlier you have a defender in place, the better your defense.